Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you avoid the same patterns after separation?

1 reply

SmallThingsMatter · 19/05/2011 20:04

Hi, I would really appreciate some advice or stories from people about preventing the same patterns occuring even after separating. My XP moved out a couple of months ago. He sees our kids twice a week. They are early teens and have struggled to come to terms with the way he has dealt with this whole situation which appears to be all about him him him.
He is now moving an hours drive away and wants to "talk" about having the kids more often. Yet again I feel like he is calling the shots - planning the move etc and then wanting me to co-operate with his situation in order to fit in with what he wants. We still have unresolved financial and practical matter which he does "when he can". I want to get things sorted out before changing any plans as I think its important for us and for the kids. I've told him that but it doesnt seem to go in....he'll do what he wants to do in his own good time.
I am seriously thinking of moving away and making a fresh start on my own terms because I am sick of feeling undermined. Any ideas??? Thanks!

OP posts:
mrscolour · 21/05/2011 15:44

I am going through the same sort of thing at the moment but my kids are younger. Ex was seeing kids every day after split and I managed to to cut it down to twice a week but now he wants more again. Your ex sounds very much like my ex - thinks he can just call the shots as that's what he always did.

Sounds like you may need to see a solicitor and maybe get some mediation. My mediation has just fallen apart but the mediator did do her best to try and see both sides and wouldn't let him walk all over me.

Good luck! xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page