Need to let this out.

[ChangedIdentity]

I wasn't sure where to put this so sorry if it's in the wrong place. This was going to be long, but I don't know if I have the strength to say it all.

But in as much of a nutshell as I can, my DD is 8yo. DP and I have been together 3.5years, don't live together, he's not DD's bio father. DD sees her father every 3/4 months. I don't have much contact with my family.

DD has a problem with her wetting herself. It's gotten out of hand now, that she's doing it every night now and now during the day. She goes to an enuresis clinic, but not much improvement until DD drinks 8 glasses a day. She doesn't, no matter how much I try to encourage this.

I really struggle every day. With the bedwetting, keeping DD entertained as well as trying to run my own business (self employed), and have do all her homework. I really really struggle.

DP knows this, but I think he thinks I overexaggerate. He can't move in as he lives in another city, and we've been trying to find him a job but it's proving impossible at the moment.

I have my own business, but really struggle. It's hard to get people to take me seriously, and when I don't have the money to advertise or anything, I find it really hard.

We're struggling so much as DP's money goes on his bills, helps me out and rest on travel. So we basically struggle each month.

DD and her relationship with her father is pretty poor. He makes no effort with her, this really affects her.

I'm on antidepressants. I've been to see a counsellor, but looking to find someone else.

I don't have any friends here. I feel very much alone.

That's basically it, and all I can manage to say at the moment.

Didn't want to leave this unanswered

Changed, I am really sorry to hear you are having such a bad time of things at the moment.
I have to say though you sound like an amazing women, a single mother and running your own business cannot be easy and many could not cope as well as you are.

Why does your DP think you over exagerate? I would be very wary if the man who does not even live with me yet felt he had the right to downplay how hard I was finding things. I would be highly reluctant to let him into my home full time unless he could prove first he was going to be more supportive than that.

It sounds like maybye your antis aren't working as you sound very very down. Have you been on them long?

Hugs and hopefully others will be along soon who can offer bettr advice than I.

It sounds as if you are really struggling on three fronts:

1. Work/money
2. Your daughter's urinary problems;
3. Your relationship

In my experience, I can cope with one or two fronts but not three! Can you prioritize one area and let the other two drift a bit, IYSWIM? What one thing, if it changed, would make the most difference to how you feel?

I was just about to suggest something along the lines of what nomedoit has just mentioned.

Could it also be easier to actually look at those issues in isolation rather than at your life as a whole? I can't offer much practical advice, but breaking problems down into manageable chunks helps me deal with stuff.

Mainly I really wanted to post because of how you mentioned that you feel alone. I can relate - albeit for different reasons. Please make sure you share with people - even if it's just on here.

I only have practical advise here...my dd wet the bed every night until she was almost 10. So I know how you feel in this respect. Doctors kept saying she would grow out of it, that her bladder would grow as it was small. Eventually it happened (after having tried every single thing). Just a snippet of hope for you in this respect...it will happen.

I agree with Not a Dude, breaking things down is essential. Sometimes I used to get so overwhelmed, I was in a not identical but very similar situation to yours OP, that I would say to myself, "What do I need to do next?" and just focus on that. So it might be drive to the supermarket or give my DS a bath. You have to really try to stay right there in the moment and stay there. It takes a lot of practice but it really helps. Sometimes I would over-think everything and worry about the future too much. Just "keep your head where you hands are" as a wise woman told me. Also if your DP is not supportive, don't keep trying to get him to be supportive. Find that support somewhere else from someone more reliable. Some churches have volunteers who will help you, you don't have to be a member.
It won't always be like this.

Thank you for all your replies.

I logged off not long after I posted this, and ended up eating a lot of sweets, which made me feel worse about myself. So then I forced myself to do some Wii Fit, which helped.

I will attempt to break things down. DD is my main priority really out of the three. She gets embarrassed by it, and is very conscious of it at school, so I know she's not doing it on purpose, but it can be frustrating.

As for DP, his answer to anything I say is "she's a kid, she's going to be like that" or "these things happen, you just need to get on with it". No actual constructive advice or support. That's what I meant by, I think he thinks I'm overexaggerating.

Obviously having more money would help, as then I can pay off my debts and bills.

DP is home later tonight so was going to tell him how I feel, and say I need better support as I've said, and not just these lame old lines he keeps saying, because it's not helping and not acknowledging my problems. With the way I'm feeling, if he moans, I'm just gonna end up kicking him out and see him when I'm ready to. When I spoke to him on the phone, he said he wants me to be happy when he sees me, and not because he's moaning, but he wants to spend proper time with me... Well tough shit, he can have me as I am or he can fuck off (sorry getting ragey).

Ok, so it seems my plan of action is speak to DP tonight, then whatever the outcome, start focusing on and building up some kind of plan to help DD with her bladder (will start to think of that as DP isn't due home for another 5 hours) and then when things are easier, I can figure out what to do business wise. I have work on through til October so it's not like I won't have money coming in, but obviously I'd like more to be coming in if possible y'know.

Thanks for taking the time out to speak to me ladies, I do really appreciate it.

Changed - what do you think would happen if you said to your DP - "here's what I would like you to say when I tell you about DD", and tell him in exactly the words you'd like to hear. If he can't do that/understand that, then take the get ragey option. It is selfish of him to want you to be happy and not moaning for his sake, but OTOH he may be under the misguided view that what he's doing is helping (I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what he can do to help, but rather than say that he brushes your concerns away)

Hi JamieAgain, I think you're right, as we did have a conversation not to long ago when I voiced my thoughts, and he asked how he could help. I said the only way I could see things being easier for me was if he was living here and so all the responsibility and weight of the problems weren't just on my shoulders IYSWIM. But until we can find him a job, that's not going to happen. It's too far for him to commute every day and it would just eat away even more of what little money we have.

He does try, so I suppose I just get frustrated that he doesn't always take it in IYSWIM. He has a crap memory. I have to remind him several times when there's something important to do, or if we're doing something. I'm actually surprised he remembers when mine and DD's birthdays and our anniversary are tbh, though I'm sure he probably struggled the first year lol. Like when I went away for a week just for a break in February, I had to put down reminders for every day just because I was worried he would forget to do certain things, and didn't want to have to keep nagging him whilst I was suppose to be relaxing.