What is the worst family feud that yours has been able to get over?

[Pinkflipflop]

Just wondered if others could share there experiences if able and comfortable to?

A small incident really blew up with my brother and SIL last week which has left me reeling. It resulted in SIL sending a series of hostile texts to me and me feeling very saddened.

I have nothing really in comommn with my SIL but I tolerate and include her because of my brother - but I don't know how I will be able to stomach talking to her again and feel positive about it.

I will and must get over this, but just wanted trusted mumsnet to put my probably minor incident into perspective and you will do it well!

We're gonna need the deets.

My Dad's wife tolerates me. I hate knowing that she tolerates me, and wish I didnt have to see her at all.

Anyway, yes, much more detail needed on what's been occuring.

Good advice BestNameEver - that's what I'll do.

Don't want to post the details as it's all so ridiculous and everyone would tell me to get a complete grip!!

SIL gets on my nerves anyway - just have to breathe and get over it.

Am fuming by another text she sent me earlier - so my no wine during the week rule is about to be broken!! grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Got back in touch with my dad after 10 years. Nothing was resolved as such, I just decided to move on.

That's good oops - from the little that I know about your situation, it was a good decision.

My sister in law tried to break our family up over three years ago. She told a blatant lie about me to PILs, they believed her and DP and I (and our new twins) didn't see any of them for four months, including the children's first Christmas. DP knew it was a lie as he was with me when I supposedly "did" the thing she lied about and knows it's not true.

For some stupid reason I insisted DP make contact with his parents again and try to regain some kind of relationship but said I would have NOTHING to do with SIL ever again. If we were at a family occasion I would, of course, be polite so as not to ruin anyone else's wedding/party/whatever.

Underneath however I am still FUMING - it's all I can do if I see her not to grab her by the throat. Her motive was jealousy, she was worried that our having the twins would mean that PILs might occasionally want to see us and our children rather than look after her own son every single weekend. (Chance would be a fine thing, if we don't go to PILs we never see them and they live 10 miles away!).

I know that in the grand scheme of things I should have let this go a long time ago but I just can't. I can't get over that she would be so vindictive and try to deprive DP of his parents and our children of their grandparents. I don't care what she thinks of ME, it's the damage she tried to do them.

I am forever being told that I should move on and I sort of wish I could but I can't. So I totally understand where you're coming from. However, holding on to this is a drain on ME, so I hope for your sake that you can put it behind you at some point.

x

I often find it easier to get over incidents like this when I make my position clear and tell whoever is being a jerk to cut it out (politely, mind you). Otherwise I fume for not getting a chance to tell the person they were out of line and then being expected to get over it. Maybe you could send her a message back asking her to please stop being so rude as it's completely unnecessary, and while you're willing to be civil you won't be tolerating insults and nastiness? After that I'd say ignore her messages or you'll get caught up in a back and forth.

My sister and I had a massive drunken argument a couple of years ago which culminated in her telling me to fuck off and walking out after I brought up a comment she had made about wanting to move away from all the "coffee coloured people". She later accused me of calling her a Daily Mail reading right wing racist (I didn't - I may think it but I didn't say it). I apologised for bringing the comment up but refused to lie and say she didn't say it, and she sent me a rather long e-mail basically attacking my whole character and my life as a SAHM. To cut a long story short, we get on OK now but it took a long time and things will never be the same . She's also a born again Christian and I'm a confirmed atheist sceptic but that's a whole other story....