'Too busy' to see the grandkids

[nethunsreject]

My bloody in laws.

There are ongoing issues, but this is the latest and I am just moaning really.

They live 10 miles away and are retired. They drive. I do not. It is a nightmare to get there on the bus with my 2 and would take a few hours due to buses - yep, seriously.

Anyway, this week they are too busy to visit because they are bowling. Wtf? And then they wonder why the baby is shy of them? And why the 4 yr old doesn't want to go out with them.

Cheers, Mig.
Rebeccca, I think it's the fact that they make such a big thing of family, yet everything is on their terms.
I didn;t actually realise that until I discussed it on this thread.
GOod old mn, eh?

How long has it been since they last saw their grandchildren?

When you say "too busy to see them this week" do you mean "always too busy and this week is just one example" or "usually see them but happen to want to do something different this week"? Because if it is the latter, then I don't see why that should make the baby shy of them or the 4yo refuse to go out with them. Are you sure the baby isn't just going through a phase that might be just the same with a weekly visit?

If I were you, I would try hard not to let your own (presumably not very good) relationship with your ILs spill over into their relationship with your children. My mum did that with my gran and I always resented it: she may have been her irritating MIL (and I do not deny the validity of my mum's experience) but she was my gran and I didn't want to have to take on my mum's feelings about a totally different relationship. I only saw my gran a couple of times a year, but that was plenty to build a relationship on. Dcs also only see their grandparents a few times a year, but are very close to them.

Morning

It is becoming more frequent. They used to see us at least twice a week and it has been getting less and less since ds2 came along. They actively disapproved of him being breastfed for reasons best known to themselves.

Totally agree I mustn't let my relationship get in the way of theirs, yes! Actually, thinking about it, I was always well aware that my Mum and her MIL didn't get on.

Sorry, they last saw them when we bumped into them in the supermarket a few weeks ago. Before then?