Don't really know where to begin, but feeling pretty desperate right now.
Last week I discovered my husband had sent some flirty emails to a girl he met in a bar on a business trip in America. I also saw some other awful email conversations between him and some male colleagues, discussing where they were going to go drinking that night and talking about how they wanted to find somewhere full of women (although 'women' wasn't the phrase used - far more crude). It was like I was reading words from another person, not my husband.
Needless to say, I was devastated, particularly as he'd told me that it was a client drinks that he simply HAD to go on (it blatantly wasn't). For the last five years, my husband has been going out drinking after work quite frequently. He works in advertising and insists it's part if the culture of his work to have booze around and to go out. I don't have a problem with him going outoccasionally, my problem is about his total lack of respect for me. He continually tells me he's going for a quick pint and will be getting a specific time train home. I then make dinner to coincide with when he gets home and plan my evening around this. He then proceeds to stay out till all hours, gets drunk and then phones me at 1am asking for a lift back from the station. I've tried to tell him how upset and how inconsequential it makes me feel, often resulting in arguments, but he continues to do it. Im at my wits end.
So this continued disrespect alongside the recent email discoveries is sent me into a world of pain. We went to our first relate session this week and he has made an effort to call me more and let ne know what he's doing. However, tonight he has resorted back to the old behaviour. Went out after work, said he was getting the 7.09 train which quickly became the7.39, then the 8.09... He got home at 9.30 in the end - dinner ruined and me feeling so hurt and disappointed. I'm close to giving up - he doesn't think he's done anything wrong and says he's had enough. He's had enough!!! What about me? Should I just accept that he'll never change his behaviour or should I make an appointment with a solicitor? We've been together 15 years, and I can't believe I may have invested all that time into a relationship that is going nowhere. Any advice appreciated - I can't sleep and keep having panic attacks.