H isn't willing to sign divorce papers...

[ItLookHardToStartNewLife]

...H had an affair, had some one night stand too...(long story)....BIG cheater and liar and very confuse man (keeps playing on my mind and changing his priorities.)
We are separated now, luckily I released he will never change, therefore I told him am going for divorce. To my surprise he is saying he doesn't want divorce and I will not divorce him, cos he will not sign the papers! He refuse to give me his postal address too! I don't understand him? he doesn't want to live married live and and he will not give me divorce neither!!?? what the F* is wrong with him???

my exh wouldn't sign the divorce papers either, and after 4 years when i'd finally had enough, he was living overseas so the solicitors had to get some sort of private detective to locate him and serve the papers on him.

after the papers were served requiring his presence at court, he didn't bother to turn up on the day, which the judge chose not to penalise him for in any way.

so it was about 6 months after that when we finally met in court... by which point 5 years had passed and i could then have divorced him without his consent.

it's a bit of nightmare i'm afraid... you have my sympathies.

yeah, but I don't understand why is he wasting time??
when he oblivious isn't for married live and be full time husband to ONE wife and proper dad!

he's being a selfish twat, just like he was when you were with him.

he's controlling you. Unless you need to divorce him, you can just wait until 5yrs is up and go for it anyway. get some legal advice, are you in the UK? the CAB can help you. I'm guessing english is not your first language, they can help with translators too if you need it.

Don't let him get to you. All the very best!

am not ready to wait 5 years
I just feel so hopeless

yes am in the UK..English isn't my first lang., but am fine with out translating.

If you can find out his address, issue divorce proceedings on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour. The court will send the papers to him, he ignores them. Then you get a bailiff type person to physically go round to his house and hand the papers to him. If he still ignores it, the bailiff will do an affidavit to the court and you can proceed without your husband's cooperation.

It's a pain the bum, and adds a few more weeks stress and extra costs to the process, but you don't have to wait 5 years.

Find a solicitor local to you that gives a free 30 minute appointment.

Do you know his national insurance number? someone ought to be able to trace him though that?

HerH.: yes i know his NI number, but i wouldn't say he let his work know...as he still receives his post to my address..
I will call CAB on monday for some advice
Thank you Herhissyness.

sound very good IRIDIUM, thank you :)

Yes, use his NI number if you can. But also, unreasonable behaviour! That's the way you want to go. No need to wait five years.

You'll get there!

You might be able to use his work address on the divorce papers. That's definitely something to ask the CAB or solicitor. I'm not sure, but I don't think it has to be a home address you send them to. Just where the court can be sure he will get them.

I think signing the papers is an indication to him that he has lost. Its the last hold he has over you. Maybe.

Do you know where he works OP? he can be served papers there surely?

yes I know where he works
I will speak to some adviser or solicitor on monday which will give me anwers.
my head is spinning

It's OK, YOU are the one calling the shots remember? You can do this at YOUR own pace.

Take it easy and be kind to yourself.