Another thing to add to the ever growing list !

[joanne34]

We only got paid 2 weeks ago and dp has spent half of his salary already ! Leaving me to pay pretty much the other 3 qtr's of the outgoings !

I cant go on like this anymore, the stress and added responsibility is going to kill me !

am I being unfair to moan ? I always seem to be moaning at him !

What has he spent it on? If it is just trash, mags and fags then you are right to be moaning at him. If it is to repair house stuff or cars etc that are needed then perhaps you need to budget to save a small amount every month to cover these things?

Get the agreed amount of his money transferred into your account payday? That way you know his share is there to pay for what it needs to.

Alternatively you can cook for you & your children and tell him he has spent his on the fags and booze?

It is not fair for you to subsidize him having a great lifestyle if you are having to live on economy baked beans as a result.

He had to buy a flight to barcelona re a stag do in june, which was £200, so then I thought he would be more careful, but no £75 on cycling top, the same old £30 cash out every week plus £20-£30 in the pub etc.

I dont spend any money on myself apart from my sport.

I am trying to pay off my debts.

He is over spending his money (although we have joint account), which leaves me nothing, that doesnt bother me, but some of that money is for the kids, plus not all of the childcare costs have come out yet this month !

I asked him for his debit card this morning ! I feel like a bully, but he is behaving like a single bloke !

Plus i think a bailiff turned up at out door yesterday morning, regarding an old council tax bill of his he hasnt paid, plus he still hasnt sorted !

I cant be arsed with this shite anymore !

Ok so he is spending it on selfish crap. You are not being unfair or moaning.

You know that you are not going to sort your debt while he carries on like this. The bailiff is a clear example and he is going to drag you under with him unless it stops.

Have you sat him down and told him he is actually taking the food from your children's mouths? That he is being selfish and inconsiderate? Do you honestly think he is going to get any better? How long before he is not paying anything into the joint bills and you are doing it all you are not far off that now!

I am sorry but he is going to spend at least that much again if not more on the stag do itself and you will be left to pick it all up again.

Can you live with him paying you x into your account by DD on pay day then whinging and nagging that he has nothing left for the rest of the month? Can you live with treating him as a child as he is obviously incapable of controlling his spending in an adult?

What do you think is the best thing for you to do to be happier and in a much safer financial position?

yes, we have had this discussion before, he has been looking for a new job, with more money, but after a few weeks, he has got lazy with it....
He/we owe his mum money re our double glazing, he doesnt bother to sort payment for her and it is left to me ! and now we dont have enough spare money to pay her this month again !

He used to pay x into account, but we got a joint account whilst i was on maternity leave. May i add, i never spent any of his money, although his salary covered my overdraft and paid for food. I managed half for mortgage and bills still.

Now he earns less because he has DS2 one day a week, and i dont mind covering the food costs etc as i am the main salary, but I dont spend any money on myself, apart from swimming costs and a bottle of wine a week !

He carries on like he's a f**king student ! He is 34 !

I have looked into tax credits if i was alone, and i could manage it, but the thought of another failed relationship and another ds with split parents is bringing me to tears, but then so is the thought of how much a mug he is taking me for !

If you still want to be in a relationship then tell him that he has to pay the agreed amount by DD on pay day. That money is unavailable to him as it is already accounted for/spent. Close the joint account and have separate accounts, this is something I am normally very against!

Don't keep sorting the money for his mum. I know you benefit from it but you are covering for him and he doesn't have to face up to how selfish and pathetic he is being.

Lay it on the line plainly and bluntly that you don't want a failed relationship, you want to work at it but he is creating a situation where that is looking like it is going to be the best and only option

You are in a no win situation right now. Damned financially if you stay and another broken family if you go. Sorry for that!