Does love conquer all- relocation/long distance situation.

[strawberryjelly]

Just wondered what everyone thinks on this. Am newly separated and have begun chatting, emailing and occasionally meeting a guy from my past who lives 4 hrs away- he's single again. We are taking things very slowly but here's the rub; he does not want to relocate due to work and neither do I. I am self-employed so could, but when I was first married I relocated to be near my then H, and left behind my friends, and at the time, my job. I was very lonely for ages.

I don't know if I could relocate again, having built up a circle of friends and I do like where I live. But if this thing with this man is ever to move on, then one of us would have to.

We are both middle aged, so well beyond meeting mums at school gate- my DCs are grown ups and he has none.

Am I being realistic or if we really cared for each other would distance and a move not matter at all? I don't know if it is worth pursuing, in some ways even though I care al ot for him.

You could easily see each other for a year at weekends one weekend you to his and visa versa and it could work, spending holidays together. People do not have to live together to have a healthy, loving relationship.

True ...but ..one day...?

I think it's far too early to tell - as Fabby says, you could meet up. I wouldn't think of moving now, but in six months' time, you or he might be thinking differently.

I would spend some time with him, don't close off any other options, and see how things develop

As the others have said, it's early days.

But out of the long-distance relationships I've known (I relocated to someone and it didn't work out for a number of reasons) the only one which has stood the test of time is a couple who relocated to a different location together (she was from the UK, he was from Aus, they now live in San Francisco). That's not to say others can't work out, but you have to be really careful when it's just one person moving and the other not.

I see my bf every two weeks, he lives in N.I I live in Hampshire, England. It's a plane ride away, we spend time on the phone, we text. Circumstances are I have to stay here for my son but son goes to Uni in October, however even after that I might not move for six months.

If it is meant to be it will be.

I know, I know. It's just that he has said emphatically that he wants to stay in his job for another 3-4 years- so where does that leave me/us if it does work?

Maybe I am jumping the gun.

But with my ex, we did the long disance commute and hols for 3 years before I moved. You never really get to know someone that way IMO. Then I relocated. Maybe I will just have to chill.

You can either leave it now or see how it goes, only you really know how much you will miss the contact, however if you haven't met yet there might be nothing there when you do and you have your answer.

I wouldn't worry too much about the future, just go with it and see what happens.

You are recently separated, so having a LDR is a great way for you to practice being involved with someone but with a safety net! It might work out, it might not, but tbh, you will gain so much confidence and esteem by having someone feel interested in you, it's symptomatic of what you need right now, even if it isn't the end solution.

Enjoy what you have, for as long as you get what you both need out of it.

Fabby- we have met several times recently.