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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If Lundy Bancroft was an abuser...

7 replies

sundayrose10 · 09/05/2011 21:15

could you imagine trying to get out? the man is so knowledgable on abuse it has crossed my mind several times when reading his book. This is not a slur on him and his book was def an eye opener for me (and countless other women I would imagine) but every time I see his name on here, I wonder how he is as a partner. A good one I should imagine.

I might not be making much sense. Just a thought process I have.

OP posts:

HerHissyness · 09/05/2011 23:01

Thing is, Lundy has exposed how they are all pretty much the same, and shown their methods and modus operandi, so he'd have to conform to that model in order to be a successful abuser.

Only thing is, he'd have to be outstanding at gaslighting to convince the victim that she was imagining it, but even then, he'd not be able to pretend he wasn't doing it.

Wonder if MNHQ could get a webchat with him?

bleedingstill · 09/05/2011 23:34

am i the only person in the world who does not think his book is 100% wonderful? I found it very patchy and a bit rambling

bejeezus · 09/05/2011 23:43

lol...thats so wrong!
and exactly the same kind of day-dream that I would have

good crappy hollywood plot though

ive just started reading the book- dont you think its patchy-because not all of it will be relevant to each person?

Anniegetyourgun · 10/05/2011 08:57

According to his profile, Saint Lundy of Bancroft is divorced. Make of that what you will.

Crackin' book though.

MsToni · 10/05/2011 09:00

I agree, "crackin' book"

AND some of our resident housewives should read up and see how they fit the role of abusers. Silly Cows!!!!

TheCrackFox · 10/05/2011 09:09

I haven't read they book but maybe his dad or another relative was an abuser?

womblingfree1970 · 10/05/2011 09:12

I just wanted to say as some here might not realise this.There are DV counsellors(those who actually counsel the men on batterer programs)who were originally abusers themselves.Just the same as there are women who work for places like womens aid,SS or Dv counsellors who counsel the victims who were victims themselves.

There own experiences give them a real insight into whats happened.They can empathise with the victim.And as for the abuser turned counsellor.He knows what 'tricks' an abuser uses to manipulate their partners.There are a few 'converted' abusers who really have changed their lifes around and want to stop other abusers.

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