Can't stop thinking about holiday fling.

[Stuckinthepast]

I am married with 2 children. Been married for 8 years.

When I was 18 I went on holiday and met a man, we had a brief fling (as you do although didn't actually go all the way). He lived about 3 hours from me but we kept in touch for a bit. He didn't want the sort of relationship where he had to drive to me every weekend but he did really want to see me again and I wanted to see him. I liked him a lot and the feeling was mutual.

I met DH a couple of months later and never actually met this man again, just a few letters and phone calls.

I have always regretted not seeing him again and even now I get butterflies when I think about him. I'm pretty sure that we would have made a great couple. I have found him on facebook (we are not friends on there) and I just can't get him out of my mind. He looks pretty much the same and I still fancy him. I still remember what it was like to kiss him etc and I get really down. He isn't married but has a DP. I was gutted when I found out.

What can I do? I feel bad for keeping thinking about him but it seems to be getting more and more and I feel like "what if....."

It's only wishful thinking wherein you feel you would have been happier with him, but you never can guarantee he would have made you happy. You probably have an unrealistic illusion of happy families with him and the more you keep fantasising about this relationship then the less likely you are going to give your all to the relationship you are in. How would you feel if this was your dh posting about a fling eight years ago and looking up this woman on fb.. I am pretty sure you would be gutted

Are you really happy in the relationship you are in stuck or you feel overwhelmed by it all?

I am happy being in a relationship. I hate the thought of being on my own which I am pretty sure is why I settled down so early.

I do love DH and I look forward to when he comes home each day but sometimes I wonder if I am still attracted to him, which makes me feel really guilty. He is a good husband and father. There are little things that grate but thats the same in all relationships.

This is actually quite common, it happens when things are not going right at home and you have time to sit and ponder what if.

Thing is it would never have worked, neither of you were prepared to put in any effort to make it work.

It's easy when things are slipping at home to think about the past, we all do it, but we know deep down that nothing would ever have come of it.