Is it possible to stay friends with both sides in a divorce?

[Piffpaffpoff]

Friends of mine have separated, it is getting acrimonious. I have seen one half of the couple a few times since the split and saw the other half for the first time since the split a few days ago as part of a group of friends. They made if clear they had a huge problem with me because I had been seeing their ex. I'm struggling with this because I like them both and am absolutely not getting involved in any he said/ she said stuff and I made that clear to both of them. But I feel awful that I'm obviously upsetting one of them with my actions.

So I need some help, advice or experiences - is it possible to stay friends with both sides or am I just being really naive to think that's possible. Am I going to have to pick?

I would tell them that they are very unfair to drag you into the remains of their marriage and that if they are going to force you to take sides, you will choose to see neither of them! Probably easier said than done though ....

I don't know. I think it so depends on the circumstances. I went through a split where XH behaved appallingly (affairs, emotional abuse etc). Although it's never one sided, our split was possibly as one sided as things get.

It would actually have really upset me if a mutual friend had blithely carried on as normal and refused to let me talk to her about it.

The only people we are now both friends with, are the people who were only acquaintances to start with. Closer friends did have to make a choice I suppose.

I don't think you should have to pick - assuming there's no obvious blame on either side and that it was just a case of them not getting on. Keep doing what you're doing - as things settle down, which they will, they'll thank you for it.

Thanks for the responses. It is a bit of a one-sided split in that one left and the other didn't see it coming at all so is devastated, angry and hurt. Most of the group of friend have sided with the person who was left.

Carlywurly, I might not have phrased it correctly - I've made it clear that I won't be telling one what the other has said to me, not that I want no mention of it ever. However, your post gives me hope because I would definitely say we were acquaintances rather than best friends so maybe given time there is hope.