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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage Problems

4 replies

SoTiredAndEmotional · 08/05/2011 20:39

My dh works hard, he drinks moderately, he doesn't have affairs or hit me. He goes out maybe twice a year.

The problem is he is so unhappy and stressed and is taking his moods out on me and the kids, by being stroppy, going into another room so we don't see him once he's had his evening meal. He constantly has a "woe is me" attitude and often says how he's the only one who's working hard etc. He never praises what people have done for him, just criticises what hasn't. His father was exactly the same.
I don't know where to go from here. He won't talk about it, he just withdraws into his room and barely speaks when he is around.
WWYD?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 08/05/2011 20:41

Is he depressed and over stressed? Maybe he needs some kind of outlet like a hobby where he relaxes.

SoTiredAndEmotional · 08/05/2011 20:49

Yes, I'm sure he's over stressed and is on the brink of depression. He's started running which helps, but he can't do it often as he has a back problem. He won't do any other exercise - doesn't enjoy it or want to do it. He finds it nigh on impossible to relax and he's snappy towards me and the kids for no reason which makes me resentful as it happens so often for no reason. When I call him on it he just says "yes, everything's all my fault. I'll just leave" and he goes to his room.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 08/05/2011 20:53

How about if he takes up swimming? Sounds like he is drowing in the stress to be honest. Try not to pull him on anything, I know it is hard but sometimes he needs to be able to come home and rant about his day. Maybe it's too much pressure on him to expect him to come home happy when he has had a shit day.

He needs to find a home/work balance that suits you all, not take out his stresses on you when he comes home.

SoTiredAndEmotional · 08/05/2011 20:59

I've mentioned swimming, but he has ear and sinus problems that flare up once he's been in the water. I feel like a single mother at the moment and that dh blames me for his stress. Sad

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