Do you have totally different political views to your OH?

[DrNortherner]

I can have a political debate with anyone, whatever their beliefs and remain a sane and calm adult. BUT, with dh I rant, and I rave and I get so CROSS.

I know he often plays devils advocate, and trys to wind me up, but I could actually explode. We have had very different upbringings. I am the daughter of a Labour Councillor and grew up on a council estate in Teesside, and am staunch labour. Dh says I am blinkered and brainwashed, and that I should have a more balanced view and this pisses me off.

What is wrong with being passionate? Why can't he just accept this?

We had a heated debate this morning and haven't spoken since. FWIW, he can't be that arsed as he didn't even vote in the local elections which also gets my goat....

Grrr.

How about you?

Yes, we have quite different views. I am left-wing, DH is right. I nearly died when I found out he voted conservative years ago. We were crossing the road, and I literally stopped dead in the middle of it . We have had huge rows over poliltics (and religion), often ending in him saying shite like 'you don't know what you are talking about' and 'you'd better stop because I am getting really angry now' . After years of going around in circles, I realised part of the problem was that he takes it so personally, whereas I see these as fairly abstract debates. So when we'd have a political argument he saw it as me attacking and trying to undermine him. I think this is a bit pathetic, but you can't talk sense into someone who's in a passionate rage of self-righteousness, so I just gave up. In latter years, he has started to be more reasonable, so who knows, maybe I'll eventually win him over....

PS In pretty much every other way he's the best DH in the world:)

DH and I disagreed on almost everything political when we first met 15 years ago, and still often vote differently, but we have both changed our views slightly in different ways and influenced each other a bit. Perhaps we have also become more tolerant (about politics anyway, probably not other stuff like domestics!)

We used to have arguments about it, he would say things to wind me up and it sometimes ended in insults, but eventually we both decided to live and let live, and now we have interesting but not heated discussions and laugh about stuff.

I think that political debate is good as long as everyone involved feels OK and isn't getting upset - if it gets upsetting (or dull!) for anyone then it's time to change the subject or take a break.

yes!

I vote labour, he doesn't follow a specific party but voted lib dem in last election

We do like to have the odd debate about politics now and again, its quite fun!

I voted against av, he voted yes. Had a major discussion about why (he actually feels proportional represenation would be better) and because we don't agree on it he does get very frustrated with me (hehe) i find it hilarious.

Yep, we're pretty much polar opposites, despite having had very similar upbringings (single parent, very little money etc).

He's staunch Tory now, since he's found himself a very well-paid job and has a huge amount of disposable income and very few responsibilities.

I'm not.

We don't really talk politics very often, for this reason. But it's fine -- we're both very aware of our differences and would never allow any discussion to get out of hand and turn into an argument. It's just not important enough.

I used to be a fully paid up and active member of the Labour Party, the Socialist Labour Party - not the namby-pamby New Labour as dad was a shop-steward, worked in the steel industry, even after the huge redundancies of the early 1980's.

DH on the other hand had (note past tense ) always been a Tory voter.
I pointed out to him (very gently, honest) that most of his ideals were, in fact, socialist. He'd only voted Tory as that's what they did in his family

I know in the last election he changed his vote

My husband grew up in a Lib Dem leaning family in Tory heartland of Sussex. I am a Scottish Nationalist but my mum was aways a labour supporter and my dad's family are Glasgow socialists. I've spent the last six years persuading him that the SNP are the best party in Scotland. I took him along to one local branch meeting but it wasn't for him so I have resisted the urge to push him to join - he voted SNP last week and that's the main thing. He wasn't interested in joining the campaigning but supported me doing so and he WILL be out leafletting when I stand for council next year (he has agreed, I'm not just presuming).

However, last weekend he admitted he wasn't convinved by the arguments for Scottish independence. It led to a row with me declaring I'd divorce him if he voted against it and he stopped speaking to me for a day. I have a couple of years now to persuade him, but gently I think!

I think it's safer not to get involved in big debates though but being so passionate I do get quite frustrated by the fact he doesn't see things the way I do. I feel for you DrNortherner!

Yes, but he's a wanker

He thinks I'm a northern working class left wing hippy. And he's a right wing wanker.
How I didn't spot this I don't know

Assuming most of the partnerships here aren't on the brink of divorce it does show up the silliness of threads where people say 'I could never be friends with a Tory/Lefty etc'. BNP seems to be the one exception I imagine! DH and I tend to agree with fundamentals of how we would like society to be - just not with the methods of achieving it. I'm more upset by the fact he doesn't like seafood to be honest.

AuntieMonica our backgrounds are similar. My Dad was left wing, socialis and proud He was a labour councillor when he died, he'd done that for 15 years, he was a joiner by trade and was shop steward on many building sites. In Teesside we were surrounded by the Steel industry so he saw all of that first hand, and many friends were affected.....he was the most wonderful, kind, wise man and yet the mere mention of Maggie would make his blood boil!

Decided dh can piss off, I am what I am and he knew that bout me when we wed 13 years ago. I will take an active role in politics one day too