I would love to say that I know what you mean but despite trying A LOT OH and I have no children, don?t worry this isn?t going to be a Oh you?re so lucky stop whinging answer.
When we were actively trying sex was a chore, something that had to be done, it wasn?t even sordid, just became like the washing up.
No emotion, no love, definitely no lust.
We tried for 4-5 years, 4-5 years of mechanics.
We then decided to take a break and for a while it was is this a take a break from trying or take a break from us?
I think due to mutual depression we stayed together for the following year, totally sexless.
I cared for Oh but the thought of him being sexually attractive was [vom], and since talking honestly he has admitted to feeling the same.
And then one day I noticed that actually he was quite, well, cute and that bum was rather nice.
And as the overdose of hormones, seriously it took well over a year for them to, start to leave my system and then I started to remember what we liked about each other and from there.
[so if I go by my system you will still have serious amounts of hormones floating around and have had for that last 3+ years. Not giving this as an excuse just a reason, biologically you are supposed to not want sex while pregnant, post birth, breast feeding nature wants you to raise that next generation and get it up and running before you conceive the next.]
So in my very unknowledgeable opinion, you still have massive amounts of hormones floating around, I?m guessing lack of sleep and all the stresses that go with have 2 DC under 3, by the sounds of it you still love him??? Do you?
I think that if you do love each other that you have to fight through this.
I?m not saying lye back and think of England etc, but talk to him.
Tell him how you feel, be it un-attracted to him, not interested in sex, angry due to ?enduring? sex earlier, [though this one worries me, did you feel forced? If so maybe there are other issues here]
From what you have said it sounds like you have a good relationship
?i do love him. we have a great relationship in many ways. he still makes me laugh out loud, we have great communication skills, if something is bothering us we always speak about it and clear the air, we would never let things build up..we rarely fight seriously, we will bicker sometimes but doesnt everyone do that??
Maybe it is just something you need to talk about??
Maybe he needs to hear that it isn't him, and once he reads that he'll back off a bit.
PS: OH and I have now been together for over 17 years, some years of bonking like mad bunnies some as celibate as the local convent. . .