I can't really believe that I am sitting here writing this, but I really need some other peoples opinions and I am too ashamed to ask people I know in RL.
The problem is my dh's attitute and behavious towards our children We have three sons 7,3 and 9 months. He is constantly shouting at them and is very agressive with them if they dont stop what they are doing immediately and jump to his every command. He is also 'casually' violent with them - I know that sounds so awful. This evening ,for example, my eldest son was getting his reading book to do some homework. Not fast enough for dh who kicked him (in 'jest') as he went up the stairs. ds1 is in tears , dh just tells him hes a sissy. ds2 got a clip round the head at the w/e for some minor misdemeanour.
I think I hate him for this.
I am NOT a perfect parent, but I don't hit my children and I try really hard not to shout. When I speak to my dh about his behavior he gets very defensive and tells me I dont know what I am talking about, all men are like this . Are they ? I can find no words to tell him how desperately wrong I think his behaviour is, or am I overreacting like he says ?
In many ways he is a great dad to them, he takes them to the park and plays footabll, he makes up stories for them and spends lots of time with them, But its all so agressive.
He would never hit me (or any other adult)its just like the children are there to be bullied. Its breaking my heart - i don't want to break up my marriage but i can't go on like this. I suggested marriage counselling but he wont go. I thought that maybe if other people wrote things here maybe I could show him the thread so he would know that other people dont think this is acceptable.
I know his own father did not behave like this. THere are other issues too in our marriage, like his heavy cannabis use which I really dislike in front of the children, but he tells me thats rubbish too, but apart from the issues with the children we would get along ok i think....
Sorry this is so long - anyone got any ideas ?