Grrrrrrrrrr inlaws!

[Readytoburst]

I think I need a rant! Don't feel you need to reply! Dh's parents have just phoned to ask if they can have dd1 next weekend from Friday to Sunday. Whilst I'm happy for her to stay with them I hate that they ask to have her all the time and want her for the entire weekend - the only time we get to spend all together as a family (dh works in London so only sees dds for 45 mins a day).

They annoy the hell out of me. They are always sniping and passing judgement. For example dd1 has had sleep problems since dd2 came along so we reward her with the 'sleep fairy' who brings a small gift if she is good. Their reaction: 'don't agree with that, you shouldn't bribe her to sleep. She should just know it's bedtime'.

Grrrrrrr!

A whole weekend is a long time if you are 3. My 3 year old would definately be upset if we did this, we also have a new baby (6 months) and she would feel pushed out. Nana Nina my dd if asked would say she would like to stay at her gps all weekend. In reality she would get quite upset (as she has before when I had the baby- she was with my mum for 24 hours) and I know my inlaws would not bring her home. There are lots of things dd wants, you cannot just say yes to a childs every whim. Also, a whole weekend would mean the op's dh would barely see his dd for 2 weeks! Quite ridiculous, especially when the live within half an hour. Its not as though the op wont let them have her at all. My mil used to call to ask if she could have our ebf dd for the day at 12 weeks. I said no but she was welcome to visit, or we could visit her. "Never mind" was the answer!

Dh once again pointed out that he won't see her and that she's rather sensitive at the moment. He said he felt she would see it as us getting rid and could upset her sleep (which we've just got back on track). He also said that when she is older we'll think about 2 nights but not yet. They were fine with this. However, I know it won't stop them trying it on asking again next time.

Fortunately, I asked dd and she is more than happy to go which is good as she massively favours my parents! Incidently, she has stayed there for more than one night but that was when I was in hospital having had dd2. I wouldn't let them have her for more than one night either under normal circumstances (not that they'd ever ask).

Is it so unreasonable for them to ask for 2 nights; you could agree a shorter time? IMO it is a good thing that they are so interested.

It is very important for your DC to build good relationships with the widest community of family and not just the people you get on better with. Part of this is DC experiencing idiotic different ground rules.

I sympathise with weekend babysitting. I too would find help with childcare/ during the week much more helpful.