I have been really shallow havn't I?

[toptramp]

Have namechanged.

I've just split up with my dp and I'm gutted even though there were a lot of things that weren't right. I do love him.

In the beginning the sex was AMAZING. He was the first person to make me come etc. We had a lot of great sex. I knew it was the honeymoon period and wouldn't last but I didn't expect it to fizzle out so soon.
After a series of arguments he hardly felt like sex any more apparently because he was knackered. When he did do it he came in no time leaving me unsatisfied. i felt something had changed.
I'm afraid I became a bit of a pest (well I mentioned that the sex wasn't as good as it used to be and could we please have more).

He would come round to my house and just fall asleep. Not just once, but EVERY time. He also started drinking a lot. Too much. Last night we had a row because he fell asleep whilst I was cooking his dinner and I got upset because I feel we no longer have quality time let alone quality sex.

If we were living together after a long time I wouldn't mind but I really do feel that he won't put any effort in any more- after only five months! I am knackered too as I work and have a ds but I always want to jump my dp. I feel really rejected but also guilty and like a sex pest.
He has actually brushed me off when I have kissed his neck and told me there would be no sex before he comes over.

I am aware aftre reading so many threads on here that many women hate it when their partners nag for sex but I didn't nag; I just pointed out that I missed the sex we used to have. Anyway we split up as he says that things are ''impossible'' between us. I know he's right but I'm still gutted and I feel likeI was a shit, unsupportive girlfriend because he has such a hard job.

The other part of me suspects that he's been knocking off another women! (excuse the crude turn of phrase)

I think that it's the abrupt change in sex and the constant rejection plus his lack of desire to change things that killed it for us. And possibly mismatched sex drives.

Have I got this right - you were only together 5 months? It sounds as though you've found out reasonably quickly that you weren't right together, and saved yourself a lot of heartache further down the line.

Have an evening of wine and ice cream and mourning what might have been, if you need it, then be grateful for the years of rejection and nagging that you've avoided by splitting up now.

I hope I'm not being too direct, but I really think that once you're either used to being on your own and happy with that for the time being, or with somebody lovely who wants to jump you as much as you do them, you'll be glad you let this one get away.

It's gutting, really gutting. do we think he's knocking off other girls then?

Why do you think he's 'knocking off other girls'
I have been in relationships where the sex was amazing but once the initial thrill wore off there wasn't much left. You only mention the sex, nothing else about him which makes me think it was just a very passionate fling which fizzled out which happens.
Chalk it up to experience and get back out there - the next one might be more than just a good shag!

sounds like poor sod is knackered

I wore him out! I do feel for him I really do!

I know it's tough but it sounds like you weren't suited so I would try and look forward.

I don't think you've been as bad as you're making out, don't be so hard on yourself, top post beat me to it,

Lucky escape. Mis-matched sex drives are a big no no!

Find someone who wants you as much as you want him and look forward to feeling desired again.

Don't beat yourself up over it, you did the right thing.

don't feel so guilty! sex is VERY important in a relationship, but so are the other things.

It sounds as if he simply couldn't be assed, it takes two to make a relationship and you both needed to have tried to make it work. Perhaps instead of telling him you missed the sex you shoulda have tried asking him WHY the sex was missing in the first place.

But you haven't been shallow, as i said sex is important. You were only together five months, so pick yourself up and move on. Instead of thinking of it ending as the worst thing in the world, think of it as you obviously weren't meant to be, but it was fun while it lasted, and as you put it yourself, you got amazing sex out of it!

Good luck.

The reason why I feel so sad is that he did say that he fallen in love with me, I had with him. We did share a lot of interests and we were planning to go on holiday in July which he thought would kick start things. I can't wait til July to have sex!
He also started saying things like; when we move in together your not expecting to have sex every day are you? I know that's probably not realistic but he shouldn't be putting a dampener on the passion just yet. It just made me feel unwanted especially when I compared it to the earlier sex.

Yes you did the right thing.

He sounds as though he has issues.
You should still be in the honeymoon period after 5 months, not falling asleep before dinner and not wanting sex.

I know I've done the right thing but I feel numb and a bit depressed rather than relieved and invigorated. Yet another failed romance. Am off to drink wine and sulk.