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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Found Viagra

20 replies

flair · 05/05/2011 14:22

Whilst looking for a paracetamol, I found 13 (and a half) viagra tablets in my dh washbag. They most definitely have not been used with me - he is too tired / stressed and we have a baby. I have not confronted him, I thought I'd see first if the supply decreases. Could there possibly be a reasonable explanation? About a year ago, I found an email (he had used the cut n' paste function on MY computer and when I was pasting something, it appeared!) which he had sent to some porn site, looking for 'company' - it was pretty shocking to read. When I confronted him, he assured me that it was nothing more than 'titilation' only online chat and that he wouldn't do it again and it was nothing to be concerned about. But now this, and I am not sure what to think. I don't want to think the worst........Any thoughts from anyone?

OP posts:

Aislingorla · 05/05/2011 14:23

Just ask him ASAP.
Best of luck.

GypsyMoth · 05/05/2011 14:26

erm,well i WOULD be thinking the worst tbh!

it doesnt sound good

he works away?

busymummyboo · 05/05/2011 14:27

He has viagra, and you aren't having sex. What more proof do you need?

No doubt he'll come out with some "just incase" bollocks.

He has already taken some, so.............he is cheating. What are you going to do?

Original poster

flair · 05/05/2011 14:31

well, i guess i was hoping someone might say that he used it on his own, but i guess as i type that i realise how rediculous that sounds....?
yes, he works away and i am also away a fair bit.
i am sure that he will come out with 'its for us' as he has done when i found something else and asked what it was.

OP posts:

Original poster

flair · 05/05/2011 14:33

what do i do / say if he completely denies it and says he just has it but doesn't use it? or some other excuse that could be credible....?

OP posts:

busymummyboo · 05/05/2011 14:34

You are in denial I'm afraid. I'd get to the clap clinic pronto.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 05/05/2011 14:38

Given that he has already lied to you about the sex sites, I'd follow the usual methods of checking his phone and laptop and then confront. You already know he will deny without concrete proof, which is telling in itself.

GypsyMoth · 05/05/2011 14:38

when is he next away??

check before...then after,take photos....then confront!

what did you find before? check computers,his phone if poss and bank statements.
look on site he was on before too

Original poster

flair · 05/05/2011 14:42

i don't know what site it was - it was an email 'introducing himself' looking for 'night time fun'. i don't want to snoop but i guess i have to.....

OP posts:

Malificence · 05/05/2011 14:42

It doesn't sound good at all, but, has he been having erectile difficulties?
If he has, he may have bought some off the net ( instead of a prescription, which is a daft thing to do) and used the half by himself?
As the others have said, you have to ask him.

Malificence · 05/05/2011 14:43

What else did you find?
Yes, you do have to snoop, if that what it takes to find the truth.

madonnawhore · 05/05/2011 14:44

Sounds like he's playing away tbh.

Original poster

flair · 05/05/2011 14:58

i've looked through his emails and can't find anything at all which is slightly suspicious in itself. however he does work very long hours and is super stressed with work - am not making excuses but this is true. i am pretty sure that he would have bought the stuff off the net or from some dodgy country he has visited. there are three different types of pills.he'd never have gone to the doctor for it. there are three different types of pills. i am sure that if i confront him based on this evidence, he will just say that it is for us and that he has had it for ages etc etc. so, what do i do then?

OP posts:

busymummyboo · 05/05/2011 21:59

This is either bollocks or you really are burying your head in the sand. I replied to this this afternoon unsure of which, heading towards the more bs side now.

Seriously he is shagging other people, what are you going to do. STD test first methinks.

ohmyfucksy · 05/05/2011 22:03

When's the sell-by on it?

Has he had erectile difficulties before? If not, why would he need it even if he was shagging someone else. I suppose he could be using it to get it up so he can wank.

Try and get hold of his mobile. If it's an Iphone that's good, because you can look in everything - texts, emails, facebook, maps (if he has been going anywhere unusual)

ohmyfucksy · 05/05/2011 22:04

use-by date, not sell-by

wileycoyote · 05/05/2011 22:05

Maybe he just bought some and tried half to see what happenned/what it was like??

collinsideal · 05/05/2011 22:06

I think it UNLIKELY that is is having an affair. If you need viagra to play away, then it's unlikely you are going to bother. No one feels like a love god if they need a 20 minute warning.

It sounds to me as though the stress of your lives has given him erectile problems and he is trying drugs to sort it out.

I think you need to talk to him.

busymummyboo · 05/05/2011 22:13

Although some men use V for erectile problems........I can tell you all about this.

Men who have erectile problems tend to go to the gp. Those who buy Chinese imports are doing it for the boost for their nights of lust, in general.

Men with erectile problems don't tend to go for porn type meetings, even as titillation as nothing works. With his history I'd bet my house he was cheating.

Some people actually have to catch them mid-shag though clearly .

FabbyChic · 05/05/2011 22:18

He has already used half of one, they don't come in halves so him saying they are for your use is bollocks.

You are in denial, you already found one thing, this is another.

He could have an email address you do not know about that is more than likely considering you are aware of his email address and can check it.

Flip