Do you ever think about 'the one that got away'?

[Pinkjenny]

I do, quite regularly actually. Does anyone else?

Sometimes. We are still in contact and me and dh stayed with him last year when we were in aus. I still find him attractive but realise how incompatible we are so I don't think about him in that way now. He is blinking gorgeous though

Yes, and am in contact with him through Facebook. We went to the edges of appropriate conversations (he's married now, I was single when we got back in touch) but realised what we were nearly doing while all the time saying we wouldn't, and stopped. We just exchange chatty emails now, which I think his wife reads, and I'm happy for her to do that. I'd let my DP read them too if he wanted to.
In my head he's still 17 and hot, like I am in his. In real life we're a couple of sizes bigger, going grey, and happier with our new partners than we would have been together.
I still dream about him, though.

I had a relationship for 2 years with a guy and decided to end it because I was only 20. I thought he was a bit thick and reckoned that I'd find someone smarter, richer and better looking -I was pretty shallow.

I moved away and married someone else and had DD. I was happy and imagined growing old with DH. I'd dream about bf#1 most nights (searching for him) and wake up feeling totally sad and lost for a few minutes. Apart from the dreams I hardly ever thought about him or missed him.

Seven years later, when DD was a baby I suddenly realised that I still loved bf#1! It just came to me out of the blue and I realised I'd have to find him again because I couldn't live another minute without him. It was the most heart wrenching feeling I've ever experienced and I knew I would have to leave DH and break up our family. I felt like he was calling for me and there was nothing I could do but answer.

I managed to find bf#1 about a year later and luckily he still loved me too. A lot of hurt along the way though.

Oh my darling PJ.

I don't have a one that got away. There's only ever been dh iyswim. But whilst at school there was this boy. Oh he was just beautiful and a true friend. I couldn't stand near him without turning inside out and upside down with the urge to reach out and touch him. Oh God I loved his bones.

School was quite miserable in some ways tbh and I am eternally grateful for college and dh and being myself at last and not caring. But then of course new found confidence meant that I could tell this boy that I'd been in love with him for most of high school. And when it transpired he had felt the same way and we'd not once managed to get it together enough to admit any of it, I felt so sad. Not for the loss of him but because school could have been so different. And sometimes I wish I'd had somebody to hold hands with. Somebody who cared enough to be seen that close to me. But would I have met dh?

I don't think of it with any real regret because my life is what it is and I'm largely content and sometimes so happy I could burst. But once upon a time I could have been happier and it's a bit bittersweet that the means might have been there.

Oh Bellebelicious, I can completely relate to your story.

My first bf was the most kind, caring, loving, funny, sexy man I could have wished for. I was young and, like you, had no idea that all men weren't like that.

I dumped him (pressure all round from people: it won't last, you're too young etc.) thinking I needed to get out into the big wide world on my own :(
years later I feel pangs of regret when I think of him, not least because I've never met anyone who I clicked with so much since and have certainly not been treated as I deserve.
I hope he is happy.
A few of these have brought a tear to my eye tonight (neonshorts & SOH)

No never. I dated bastards all my life. I used to look back with fondness........until I found happiness.

I quite like about half of my XBFs and XPs and am on reasonably friendly terms with them. They are nice people. Of the rest, there are one or two I sincerely hope I never see again, some who I occasionally wonder what they might be up to.
Not one single one I'd 'have back', though. No regrets whatsoever.

Oh God yes.

I posted on fb recently complaining about my my teenage son still being in bed at midday. I was then sent a private message by my old friend (who although I have him as a friend on facebook I have only communicated with three or four times since he moved to Australia about 12 years ago.) He said something along the lines of "in fairness to your children, I don't remember you being so quick to get out of bed in the morning. Not that I am complaining, it was very nice...".

I went all melty and 21 again for a moment. I haven't seen this guy in 12 years - we split up about 16 years ago.... And I do wonder what my life would be like if when he asked if we could get back together 2 years after we split I had said yes. But I had just started going out with my (now) husband, so said no....

And I do love my husband. But still look fondly back on the "one that got away"....

And he has aged very well.... {sighs}

Yes, but not with regret at what could have been.

Just very fondly and with a smile. He was much older than me and my first 'boyfriend' and I suppose broke my heart. But he did it honestly and our time together was cool after what had been a lot of unhappiness, he gave me some grounding sexually where I had had unpleasant experiences before, and I think for that reason I carried a torch for him for a very long time.

He was though, very much in love with his first love. They reunited and married and had children and I wouldn't rock that for the world.

If it were in any way possible I would thank him for giving me a set of memories to cherish, but in no way would it be appropriate. Although I see him very occasionally as he still lives in the same village as my parents, I am wary of the lines that can be so easily crossed and cause heartache so a smile or wave suffices, and he makes me glad that our paths crossed so deliciously

Well my Dad certainly did. Contacted his first love over t'internet one night. Had an affair. Liked the attention. Left my lovely Mum. By the time he realised he'd made a huge mistake Mum had moved on. Tainted many a relationship in our family.

Perhaps best to leave the past in the past.

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