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Original poster

Would you tell the wife?

13 replies

LiliesandVeuve · 05/05/2011 08:07

Will try and keep it short.
Basically I have discovered that a very good male friend has been harassing/pestering an old flame. Not sure of the details, but she has changed her number in a bid to get rid of him,
I am so disappointed in him.
And I obviously know his wife very well, and won't be able to look her in the eye.
It's all very embarrassing as he has asked me to contact this old flame and doesn't know I know this story.
If it's nothing, I don't want to upset the applecart.
I need to talk to him don't I?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 05/05/2011 08:16

You're a man

Tell him he's a twat

And if be doesn't stop being one you will inform his partner what a crappy excuse for a husband she has.

davidtennantsmistress · 05/05/2011 08:27

yup, agree with laurie - talk to him before you talk to the wife.

zikes · 05/05/2011 08:43

Tell him he's an arse, that he's basically harrassing this ex and you're not going to help him do that. Plus he's an arse again and to stop treating his wife like crap.

OberonTheHopeful · 05/05/2011 08:54

If it were me I would certainly tell him that his behaviour is completely unacceptable, and that I would tell his wife if it doesn't stop.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 05/05/2011 08:56

yes. look him in the eye and say "no. I won't help you stalk this woman. I know all about it. Do you know that she changed her number to get away from you because you won't leave her alone? you need help. how do you think your wife will feel if this woman reports you to the police and you are arrested for stalking?"

lazarusb · 05/05/2011 17:40

All the above with bells on. Don't be complicit in making this woman's life a misery. An ex did this to me and it was horrendous. I avoided answering the door, telephone, even going out at times. Even now I dread seeing him in the street.

FabbyChic · 05/05/2011 18:28

I go with what Hecate says, sounds like a plan.

nomedoit · 05/05/2011 18:40

Don't see the point in telling the wife because he will deny it til his dying day...

Wisedupwoman · 05/05/2011 22:26

If she finds out another way and the marriage falls apart you won't be able to look her in the anyway OP because you already know what you know.

Not a nice position to be in, but he has set you up. Not a very good H and not a very good friend to you either IMHO. You should both dump him.

Original poster
LiliesandVeuve · 06/05/2011 08:06

thanks all.
I'm not very good at this sort of thing (confrontation)
but will talk to him, I have a feeling he is on a bit of a downward spiral anyway, I haven't seen him for a while.
he's obviously just another stupid guy, who cannot see what he has to lose.
His wife is lovely

OP posts:
Matekiddleton · 06/05/2011 10:38

Good for you, Lilies.

SueSylvesterforPM · 06/05/2011 12:34

LaurieFairyCake beat me to it!

Wisedupwoman · 06/05/2011 14:01

Hurrah to that OP. you sound like a true friend to them both.

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