Mum is sometimes so selfish

[FireInYourEyes]

I have arranged to pop to my grandmas tomorow and said I would pick my mum up on the way and take her too. All fine.

Then today DS was slapped across the face with a ruler at school by a kid who just before easter pulled him off his chair banging his head on the floor.

I called my mum up tonight fuming saying DS had been injured again, she asked what had happened then as soon as I said I was going to see the teacher tomorow morning she went all sulky and said "oh, does that mean you're not picking me up like planned then??" and she was no longer interested in DS as soon as she realised it was impacting her. She's like this all the time. It's the same with illnesses, I called once to say I was really, really ill with stomach bug and before I could tell her the whole story she started going on about her own "slight cold".

When my sister was diagnosed with aspergers my mums first comment was "why me? why do I have a child with aspergers? how will this affect me?"

Its always the same. When my sister was getting really badly bullied at school my mum burst into tears one day and I felt for her until she said "this isn't fair on ME, I can't cope with all this"

It bugs me. I know she probably doesn't mean to come across as being so selfish but it's so annoying.

She sounds like my mother.

and mine

maybe it's something that they do to mothers.....

Mine too! I usually try to rationalise it by thinking it's because she was an only child and not very good at not putting her own needs first but not sure that's very fair on only children. My nan is exactly the same, am just concentrating on trying to break the cycle!

Hope your ds is ok, poor little dude. Good luck with the teacher tomorrow.

I have one of those.

On finding out that I had miscarried, she commented that she didn't think I should be having babies and it was just as well as she didn't want anyone calling her 'grandma' as it would make her feel old.

She also was furious when I was born, as everyone kept asking her how the baby was and talking about the baby and not her which is Just Not On.

Delightful woman, haven't seen her for nearly 6 years.

google narcissistic personality disorder and see if it sounds familiar, FireInYourEyes

Firstly, I hope you get the bullying sorted out tomorrow. The school has a duty of care towards your son and should be doing all it can to protect him. if possible, I would see if you can get a copy of their anti-bullying policy from their website, before you go in to see the teacher and insist that this is dealt with in accordance with their own policy.

Secondly, I agree you mum is coming across as selfish. I find it interesting that you have a sibling who has Asperger's Syndrome. I understand their are reports that show there is often a hereditary link and I wonder if that could be the case here? Certainly the lack of empathy is one of the signs that are often quoted. if so, whilst she is sounding selfish, it may genuinely be something she is unaware of?