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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tiny Trousers

23 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 04/05/2011 21:51

Might be a bit of a strange one but need to articulate this.

Collected a pair of leather trousers and a leather jacket (long forgotten tbh) which I used to wear in my motorbiking days.

Went to put the trousers away and was gobsmacked at how truly tiny they are. Ditto the jacket which won't really go over one arm these days let alone anything else.

Anyway, not bragging but it just suddenly hit me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the way I looked back then.

Nevertheless, my overriding memory of that time is of feeling really fat frumpy and unattractive.

All keenly encouraged by the men in my life who, despite being far from perfect specimens themselves felt it necessary to openly and underhandedly make me think I was fat frumpy and all the rest of it.

And what's worse is I bloody believed the idiots Angry

Hopping mad really that its taken me so long to see it really.

They didn't deserve to share my exhaust smoke let alone my life and bed!!

It seems insight can come from the most unexpected places and or items.

Sorry for weirdy post but really wanted to get that out into the world!

I know one thing, I may be a size 20 for now but the next bloke who thinks he's entitled to critique me is getting kneed in the groin Grin

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Hassled · 04/05/2011 21:53

Good for you :). And you should be hopping bloody mad.
Just keep the faith re karma - those twats will have had, or will soon have, shit unhappy lives.

BibiBlocksberg · 04/05/2011 22:09

Thanks Hassled :) the last 'critic' is currently back at his mother's and not very happy from what I hear so it would appear karma is working already :)

Sounds a bit nasty of me which I'm not really and not a revenge type of character just surprised me how much anger those trousers produced Shock

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QueenLaQueefer · 04/05/2011 22:40

Oh I've done the tiny trousers thing.

I can't believe I wasted my salad days on utter cock lodgers.Angry

At least now we have more cushion for the pushin'!Grin

Onefunmum · 04/05/2011 22:45

Good for you!

Had a similar realisation myself. So sad that I had no idea how lovely I was. Too late to get that body back now but not too late to start loving myself.
All the best Bibi! :)

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 04/05/2011 22:47

Keep those trousers, Bibi. Just as a kind of reminder the next time a man you thnk of dating does something that suggests he's a similar flavour of knob to the last one. Glad to see you sounding so sparky though (I was on your threads when you were ditching that apocalyptic loser with the funny and unpleasant sexual habit).

AnyFucker · 04/05/2011 22:50

hi bibs

I spent my teens and twenties in a haze of thinking my body was rubbish, and not realising how attractive I was (still am, kicks self < ahem > )

what a bloody waste, but never mind

we are still here however, with our emotional intelligence and wit, which is more than some of the stupid twats in our past lives have ever had !

LittleRoyalHouse · 04/05/2011 22:58

Hi Bibi
Glad to hear you are in charge of your destiny.
Have you managed to retrieve the scooter yet? Or buy your own car?

Isn't it fab to be seeing clearly without a negative man to distort the picture?

BibiBlocksberg · 05/05/2011 00:03

Hello everyone, how lovely to see you all!

Similar flavour of knob ha ha ha very good SGB :)

I'm not having any knobs invade my lovely peaceful life I've decided.

Yes I finally collected my moped yesterday (and the leathers) with the help of my next door neighbour. Amazing sometimes the kindness and goodwill right under your nose :)

Then again he is trying to sell me his car so perhaps an ulterior motive there Grin

One way or another i should hopefully have the car saga sorted in the next few weeks.

Can't wait to phone up the last 'flavour' and tell him to come and get his crap out of the loft, take his dr livingstone pot plants and the car and be gone from my life forever!!

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SarahStratton · 05/05/2011 08:02

Oh yes, totally understand that one. I was constantly told how fat I was by XH. Oddly, DD1 now weighs more than I did and is shorter than me, yet I can see that she is skinny and XH is constantly saying she needs feeding up.

I was an idiot for believing him.

Hmm
ginnny · 05/05/2011 10:40

I was always told when I was putting on weight by my ex. He even said that if I ever got as fat as his ex wife he'd finish with me because he can't stand 'fat birds'. Vile creature he was.
His new girlfriend is at least a size 20!!
Thank I left him.
And my new bf thinks I'm perfect Grin

BibiBlocksberg · 05/05/2011 11:06

I see you don't have nice bears any more Sarah Grin - sad to see them go really, that name used to make me laugh no end.

Anyway, I digress, can't believe how many of us have been subject to reviews by these utter tossers Shock

I had exactly the same thing from another ex ginny (and again, I was quite thin then) He was 20 stone if he was a gram and found himself a new girlfriend who was and is seriously three times my size.

Still haven't figured that one out.

As always though I credit the feisty females on mumsnet with my awakening and continued healty attitude to any future critical knobs :)

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HerHissyness · 05/05/2011 11:14

I spent my entire childhood believing my (fat) dad telling me that I was fat.

Funny how only a couple of years ago I realised that the photos of us didn't lie and that I wasn't any larger than my sister.. who was the Gymnastics one, the active one....

BibiBlocksberg · 05/05/2011 11:54

HerHissyness Angry on your behalf.

Again, another thing I can relate to, I was constantly badgered about my weight as a child yet I lived and worked on a farm and did sports in the evening.

Pictures of me from that time show me to be anything but fat!!

I was just thinking to myself, the worst thing in all of it is that I got so conditioned to this critizism I thought it only right and normal almost when the men and others in my life used to humm and haw and openly complain about my body/weight Shock

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garlicbutter · 05/05/2011 12:43

Very good to hear from you, Bibi Grin

Yep, another one here. Not too long ago, I saw myself on telly in an 80s retrospective. At that time I was fat, never looked good in anything and had weird hair ... so how come I looked so pretty on the box??!!!

I gave all my tiny clothes away. Being size ten didn't do me any good and, if I settle for XL, I can have two croissants with honey instead of dry toast and an apple Wink

BibiBlocksberg · 05/05/2011 12:58

"I gave all my tiny clothes away"

Yes, me too, quite a while ago (surprisingly painful) no point in hanging on to it all, figured that be the time I got small enought to wear the stuff again I wouldn't like it anymore :)

I think that's why the trousers made such an impact on me since I haven't seen any of my 'small' clothes in years.

Get you eh, on the tele no less Grin

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RudeEnglishLady · 05/05/2011 13:01

I wish I'd worn more exciting things when I was younger - I had an awesome body and thought I looked awful so didn't dare. Thank you to a couple of shit boy'friends' and years of campaigning by my father. Dad's that critisise their daughters looks deserve a special kind of hell IMO. Also, its a bit pervy and wrong to rate your daughters attractiveness I think.

DH likes a bit of womanliness, always encourages me to wear what I want and to eat my dinner up!

I might do mutton-dressed-as-lamb and make up for it now Grin

RudeEnglishLady · 05/05/2011 13:02

BTW so glad the whiney, weedy ex is out of your house and history :)

garlicbutter · 05/05/2011 13:06

Go for it, REL!!!

Couldn't agree more about critical dads. While I was telling my SIL a funny story about a swimming race I was in as a kid, I described myself as "the fat one". My brother looked at me and said "You weren't fat! You were just a normal kid." Bugger me, I'd been so sure I was a little dumpling! Thanks, Dad Angry

RudeEnglishLady · 05/05/2011 13:08

Cheers Garlic care to join me :) ?

yoshiLunk · 05/05/2011 13:24

I too was with one of these wankers, I was minute back then and super fit. After 5 years of me struggling to maintain the low weight and fitness and constantly being told I "wasn't quite there yet" , he finally ended it by telling me I was letting myself go (at 27 ffs ?).

That was 14 years ago, I only last week donated my last pair of tiny trousers I was hanging onto just in case I lost the weight . In my defence they were expensive designer and had to be altered to fit my tiny waist which I somehow didn't know I had at the time. Angry

Curiousmama · 05/05/2011 13:28

A stunning friend of mine was recently told she could do with losing a few pounds, instead he was lost Grin
I was always slim, now size 14, but never had anyone tell me I was overweight until I was older. He was binned too Grin

Xales · 05/05/2011 13:59

I have had this recently. My mum kept some of my old clothes from my late teens/early 20's. She got them out a few weeks ago and my 13 year old niece only just fits in them and she is not fat in the slightest!

I again always has such a bad self image >

BibiBlocksberg · 05/05/2011 14:09

That just made me lol Curiousmama - how to lose in excess of 13 stone in five mins - kick the bugger out Grin

"BTW so glad the whiney, weedy ex is out of your house and history"

Thank you REL, I can honestly say that every day I consciously thank the day I gathered the courage to kick him out!

Reading 'Living alone and loving it' at the moment, what a cliche of the single woman I have become :)

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