I have namechanged but am a regular (cod, gregs etc) I frequent the step parent forum so if you recognise me pls don't out me. Brief background - DP and I got together 4 years ago, I moved in with him at first but found it hard to make the house feel like my home so we eventually moved to a mutual house (me, DP DSD and DS). He is a true disney dad, hands her everything on a plate, she does no wrong, she's misunderstood etc. It has caused no end of arguments but its not just this, he constantly lies to me and keeps things from me, goes against my wishes, does whatever he wants and doesn't factor in my feelings on anything. The gist of it is that I feel I have been taken entirely for a ride. I earn double what he does which isn't a problem, I would have been willing to say what's mine is yours but they have been taking the piss for years. The original plan was that we split all income (mine and his wage) and then pay half the bills each, put a bit into savings and then split whatever is left so we each have "an equal amount of personal money". This worked well at first until he stopped paying his half of the savings. He'd blow all his money and then expect me to give him some of mine. He insisted that DSd's pocket money be doubled but still insisted on us paying for everything for her so she never had to spend it. He agreed to expensive horse riding lessons without consulting me about it despite the fact that I'd be the one that had to pay for them. Last april we booked a holiday abroad, we decided to lay down £1000 deposit. When it came to booking it DP said he had no money but if I laid it out he'd give me £100 towards it and then paid me the rest when he got paid. I was furious but did it. Needless to say I never saw the rest of it so I personally have laid out £900 on the holiday. He's put £100 on it. (remember the household income is split so it's not as if I have more money than him, we both have the same). There was always a lot of whispering etc going on between him and DSD, they'd go in the kitchen and shut the door and I'd hear them whispering etc. One night I read his text messages and she'd sent him one saying "just tell her your using her car, you pay for it too". He replied "but she'll be using it then" and she replied "she can use the old one, dont let her boss you around. I'm seriously not going in the crappy old car, we are using hers. Just dont even tell her, just take it x" and he replied with "lol I'll see what I can do".
This was basically a discussion on him using my car to take her to a party. We have two cars, a 10 year old rover and a 2010 Focus. The focus is mine. I was planning to use it this particular night to visit friends (in which I'd also be driving friends in it). He went outside that night, came in said his car wouldn't start and he'd have to take mine or DD would be late. I said he couldn't use it as I also had plans. He said I was being selfish making his dd miss a party just so I could visit friends for an hour. I backed down. I saw them pull away laughing in my car. I didn't want to cancel so tried the rover myself. It was fine. When I saw the texts I realised what had happened.
Things like this happen all the time. I checked his phone often after this and noticed they had given me a rather cruel nickname which they referred to me in their texts. They were also laughing about my DS being bullied on facebook and I came across a text in which she was trying to convince him to take my credit card to buy her a laptop. (He was considering it, I could tell by his responses).
I checked her phone once too and came across messages between her and a friend in which she told her friend that I was a horrible bitch and really selfish and her dad hated me and only stayed with me for money etc. They had a good laugh about me and towards the end she told her friend "I hope he kicks the shit out of her cos I know he wants to and shed never be able to prove it was him lol"
So, nail on the coffin - she came home from horse-riding one day with a leaflet about a pony camp. He asked me if I'd lend him the money to let her go. I said no, simply because he still owed me £400 for the holiday PLUS we still needed to find another £2k to pay OFF the holiday which was blatently going to be left to me to pay. We ended up having a massive row, I told him I was sick of him and wanted to split up. He said he couldn't wait to see the back of me. Stupidly we did make up but he told her she could go on the pony camp. I told him that if she went on the pony camp, not only would I refuse to pay a penny towards it but I'd also take both of their names off the holiday booking. When I checked his phone later that night she'd sent a text saying "what if she really does take us off the hol?" and he replied "don't worry, she won't x" Another text read "if you do split up, make sure we get the focus" and he replied "lol I definately would".
So the current situation is I HAVE taken them off the holiday booking. I have paid off the Focus so it is legally all mine and I have secured DS and I another house to move in to when we come back off our holiday. My brother will be collecting my belongings (almost everything in the house since he hasn't paid for sod all)
They have no idea about any of it. Why the hell am I starting to feel guilty/scared/nervous about the whole thing?? I know the shit is going to hit the fan because he can't afford to keep that house himself so he'll get thrown out. He'll be furious about the car (so will she) and they'll be gutted about the holiday. Have I royally cocked all this up? I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing somewhere. I'm gutted about the whole thing and just can't think straight.