I'm to fat to let dp touch me.

[Brighteyes]

I was 9 stone when dp met me 4 yrs ago.

Before I got pg with dd I was 11 stone, overweight for my height but still felt attractive and dressed nice and took care of my appearence.

Since having dd 5 months ago my weight has shot up to 12.5 stone.

I am obese and know I need to lose weight. My self esteem is so low I know I haven't got any self control to lose the weight at the moment.

I spend all day at home with only food for comfort. Even at the weekend I don't go out with dp because we have so little money now my maternity pay has stopped.

Dp is getting frustrated that we don't have sex (only half a dozen times since dp was born). I just can't bear him looking at me or touching me I'm so big and covered in stretchmarks. Its really putting a strain on the relationship. I'm just getting bigger and bigger because my only comofort is in food.

No family living nearby and living in a new area so no friends. Food rules my life its the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.

Im sure your Dp doesnt care about your weight, have you told him how you feel? I also put o alot of weight after having dd, i used to be 8 stone, god knows what i am now but dh doesnt mind.

Dp says that he isn't concerned about my weight at the moment because I've only recently had dd. Yet he is always telling me I need to eat less and trying to persuade me to go to the gym.

He doesn't understand that I have no self esteem to do this at the moment.

Feeling sexy doesn't have anything to do with your size; it's in your head. I'm an awful lot heavier than you, but my dd loves me just the same as he would if I were slim.

From your post you sound depressed and lonely, and I think it's those things you need to address first, to give you some self-esteem back. Maybe once those things are addressed, you will feel able to start a healthy diet and stick to it.

I am fairly slim looking even though I am nearly 2 stone heavier than I want to be. My belly is covered in stretchmarks too and I absolutely detest them. dh however, doesn't mind and our sex life is fab so that helps me to feel less bothered by them.

Are you sure your dh isn't bothered about your weight and still fancies you like mad - it could be that you are worrying unnecessarily? Anyway, if you want to lose weight then do it for yourself not because you think dh wants you to.

Beauty and feeling good about yourslef is more than about you rweight.

I think you need to see someone professional about what's happening with you and food, lovey.

I do know what it's like to feel enormous and unsexy after having a baby - I wouldn't meet any of my ex-boyfriends for about 18 months after my first baby, I was so embarrassed, let alone feel happy taking my clothes off in front of my partner (who didn't mind the fact I was a bit fatter, but that wasn't the point). But it sounds very much as if you've reached the point where it's become a disorder and I'm sure the professionals can help.

i know exactly how you feel brighteyes, i am just the same. i have put on almost 4 stone and i no longer feel like me. i wish i could tell you how to overcome the food thing but i dont know myself! all i can suggest is getting out of the house to toddler groups, walks in the park, taking dd to feed the ducks etc. is lots harder to eat so much in public and i find getting out also boosts your mood which makes everything seem better. be really hard on yourself, find something to do every single day and do it. dont make excuses about being tired or whatever else comes into your head.

Hi BrightEyes. Is the issue your self esteem or do you have a problem with lethargy & loss of libido too? I ask because being overweight and poor diet can effect those things. I'm speaking as someone who weighs more than you and is confident that dp still finds me attractive but my issue is general lack of energy so the result is similar - less sex than dp would like.

I hate to sound a bit 'Gililan McKeith' but pumpkin seeds are good for libido & I'm sure there's loads of other foods that help if you wanted to look it up.

If the issue is that you really don't like your body at the moment and think he won't either then what about wearing some sexy underwear in bed - I don't necessarily mean anything kinky, just something you feel gives you modesty but still 'covers up' the bits you don't like. Like a basque or a negligee (sp?). You never know might kick start a whole new phase in your relationship.