Does my friend have Aspergers?

[fashioncrisis]

I am so very tired emotionally.
Can someone please in a nutshell just spare me a minute or 2 to help me? For my own welfare I need to know, as I have peaked & am on the way down....
He's mid 30's, is extremely "hot & cold" with me, unpredictable with everyone, cannot express himself emotionally at all to the point of his bday card to his Mum doesn't even say 'with love', his clothing has to be meticulous, his belongings aren't to be touched by anyone & he constantly lying to my face or by text (on a daily basis) but says it's OK because it's about small things. There are just so many lies, that's what's worn me out.

I can see the good in him, he can be so gorgeous, I love him dearly but feel if he doesn't have Aspergers then he is letting himself down for no reason & that it must be me he just doesn't care about.

I am hoping that if someone tells me he is showing signs then at least I know he treats me so appallingly for a reason. If you say he is, I certainly wouldn't mention it to him at all. I would use it as a positive thing & try to learn how to communicate with him in a way we can work together with no more fighting. I don't want to lose my best friend.

He's a "friend" not a relation or a DP. He's treating you inconsiderately. I'd bin him and not look back tbh.

Also have knowledge of ASD and I'm not convinced it's there by your description of him tbh.

Purple: Everything is either black or white. He won't budge on what he thinks despite my producing hard evidence of his lies. I get the impression you think I should take a step back. I have done & for a few days I've not contacted him (which is a long time for us)

Busy Mummy: I didn't want to offend anyone, in fact, I set out to try & learn about AS in a positive way. Sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention.

Jess: SNAP! It HAS got to the point where I started to seek help (ie MN)to try & get "into his head" to find out if I was the person in the wrong. I often feel manipulated & like I have been used to boost his ego.

Diggs: When he's lovely, he really demonstrates he cares & shows he's thought about me...unfortunately that only happens when he's let me down though. I just wanted to keep giving him the benefit of doubt. Seems that's my downfall.

Carly: Thankyou for your comments based on your experience.

The relationship isn't doing you any good, and he if he has an ASD then he won't be capable of being the friend you expect. He has obviously managed to function in life this far, so there's not an awful lot you can do tbh. His mum might needs some support, though.

Fashion , you sound very nice and almost too understanding . When youve got to seek out help to keep your freindship going , or to get into his head , things have gone too far . You shouldnt have to get help , freindships just occur , and we keep them because theyre good for us . This doesnt sound good for you at all , in fact it sounds completeley toxic . And as for Aspergers , id say he fits the bill more for npd , but thats neither here nor there . Hes not a nice person .

Re being nice to you after hes let you down , that sounds to me like the abuse cycle im afraid and might explain why you sound over invested in this freindship.

Thanks for taking the time to put your thoughts forward. Had loads of written comms from him last night & as a result I have told him to never contact me again.

Despite evidence of his continuous lies, he is still fobbing me off, twisting it round to being my fault.

I only ever wanted to be wanted, to be liked.

Need to be strong & not reply to his correspondance now. This is the tough part.