hello mumsnetters!
i am completely new to this and looking for some advice,slightly long but please bear with me......after being dumped when i was four months pregnant,(only reason he gave was, this is not where i want my life to be going!) being left with nowhere to live (we were due to move in together the week after he dumped me-i had already given up my flat) and having to deal with his insanely jealous ex girlfriend emailing me warning of how he is with her and he is going to leave me to be a single parent (turned out to be true) then having threats from him such as if i dare go to csa he'll pack in his job and make sure i dont get a single penny from him, and how he'll fight for 50/50 custody, i decided to completely distance myself from him during the pregnancy as it was causing me and my unborn baby so much stress.
i must point out however that he made it clear he was always going to be there for DS and wanted a close relationship with him, he bought mostly everything baby needed before he was born (he earns WAY more than i do) and i do believe he'll be a good dad to DS which is all that really matters.
after having barely any contact during the rest of my pregnancy and him being a complete arse to me, i wasnt looking forward to spending time with him afterwards. DS is now four weeks old and being breastfed so only way exP could see him was to visit me in my home. and as he took two weeks paternity he was over every single day to see him, along with his family (who i dont know particularly well as we werent together very long before i found out i was pregnant :( ) it was all very intense but i felt obligated to allow him into my home for DS sake although after his treatment i could have happily never seen or spoke to him ever again
anyway to get to the point, exP is now demanding he gets DS for sleepovers at 6weeks old (in two weeks time) and that if i dont agree to it i am being completely unreasonable so he will contact the lawyers. aibu to say no as i feel this is way too early? when he is a little older absolutely, but i feel he is just too small, i am not ready to give him away for the weekend and i dont want to start formula feeding him just yet but not sure if i could produce enough expressed bm to last the whole weekend and after that whole emotional rollercoaster of a pregnancy i just want to bond with my baby and enjoy him. now i do realise he also needs that and it must be hard for him not being able to see ds whenever he wants, even though that was his choice but i just feel like he has made his bed and must i really suffer beacause of that?
to add to my worries his next door neighbour is his psychotic ex girlfriend who was hellbent on splitting us up and has now been feeding him lies saying i have been contacting her, going to her door phoning her etc (for the record i have never even met this girl before and his family previously told me when we were still together how she is mentally unstable and has threatened to stab him, trash his car etc so i can only imagine she is for some reason trying to make his/my life even more difficult for revenge or whatever) i would genuinely be worried about the safety of DS as she seems exceptionally bitter about their break up and has told him she will make his life hell so long as she lives. (i do not understand why he would not just leave and move out to get away from her) also despite him having an extremely well paid job and being 35 years old (i am 24) he chooses to live in a flat share with two other girls so DS wouldnt even have his own room and i personally do not want DS being brought up thinking that daddys live with 19yo girls and not with mummy, too weird. so aibu? all i want is for ds to have a fantastic relationship with his dad and to know he is loved completely by both of us, but at such a young age and exP not having his own space to raise him in would i have a case to say no if it did go to the lawyers? any experience/advice would be appreciated