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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable???

9 replies

lisababyb · 30/04/2011 13:48

Hi All,

Please can someone tell me if I am being unreasonable..

I have a 8.5 mo DS and went back to work FT recently.. My DH also works FT and leaves for work by 4am everyday..

It seems that I am never allowed to have an off day, where I can get a bit tired and moody, snappy about dirty washing being left on floor or dishes just left dirty in the sink! on one occassion, I was feeling really tired, think it was a Friday. He gets in a couple of hours before me and I bring DS home and drop off every day, anyway I got home and no tea was done, fine as I had popped to shop on way home so had a pizza to bung in the oven but I was just a bit short with him as there was a pile of washing (dirty) left next to washing machine - to be washed and dried for the next day! washing machine had a load in there, washed and ready to take out but oh no it was left in there for me! Dirty dishes in the sink too.. usually I would just do it but couldn't keep quiet today! anyway, I get called a miserable bitch and am then ignored for evening..

We were fine next day but again this weekend.. We have been having a few money worries lately so I thought it would be nice to get out for a meal and nice bottle of wine to just forget about it for a few hrs - had sitter for DS. Don't think he could be bothered.. got home as 1pm ish and laid on sofa with DS sleeping. Then went upstairs til 6.30pm, it was too late then to get me/ DS ready and pack him a bag etc.. he goes down at 7.30pm. So I just went to bed with DS for rest of the night.. did sulk but couldn't help it, we don't get much time for just the 2 of us to chat over dinner.. I was still hacked off this morning, you know when you just wake up in a bad mood - PMT too! :(

Well he has taken DS out as he said I am a moody cow so he is going out.. I tried to explain why I was off but he never seems to understand..

He is always tired these days, sleeps for an hr when he gets home from work.. not me.. its all go when I get in, making pack ups, bathing DS, clothes out ready for next day etc...

Sorry this is long winded.. just needed to let off some steam!!

Am I expecting too much??? :)

OP posts:
zikes · 30/04/2011 14:00

Short answer, no you're not.

Longer answer, both working fulltime, both should be doing household chores. I can understand him needing to sleep an hour after being up from 4am, but it's no wonder you're pissed off.

Original poster
lisababyb · 30/04/2011 14:05

Thank you! Its nice to know that its not just me..

Sometimes I think it would just be nice if he walked in the door with a nice bunch of flowers to cheer me up a bit.. watching too many films I think. Can always dream!

I know I can't expect him to read my mind but I would think that he could be considerate when he knows I am a bit tired or down.. Its never, "whats up, how come you are feeling down?".. Its, "oh cheer up you moody bitch!"

OP posts:
Original poster
lisababyb · 30/04/2011 14:08

He does do dinner every night.. that is his chore apparently!

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 30/04/2011 20:52

you both work = get a cleaner .

day to day chores - sit and discuss who does.

vickylou2004 · 30/04/2011 23:10

Gosh both working full time with a child too!

Your DH is up very early, and I suspect you are up quite early too? I think it's very good that he does dinner everyday.

Could he put the washing on when he gets in and you sort it out later or you put the washing on before work and he gets it out when he gets home?

It's all about compromise isn't it?! It's taken me 11 years to train my DH and he's not perfect now, and neither am I!!

Funnily enough-I used to nag him over what he DIDN'T do. As soon as I stopped he just started going ahead and doing things, was lovely!

You say that he'd not put any tea in one day? But he usually does the meal every day-Maybe this was one of his 'off days'.

You say the day that you were both sulking that he stayed upstairs til 6.30. Did at any time in that afternoon did you say 'Are we going out then?'. Maybe you were both being stubborn. Me and my DH are like that.

I am terrible at the time of the month too. Everything he says or the kids say winds me up!

I hope I'm not coming across as blaming you, just helping you see things in perspective. Marriage is hard work especially when you're both tired. Was it out of choice to go back to work full time?

hairylights · 30/04/2011 23:52

What have you discussed and agreed in terms of division of labournow you are both working full time?

Have you divided chores equally?

Or split them ie:: he cooks, you wash up, he does
Laundry, you do ironing?

Original poster
lisababyb · 02/05/2011 21:39

No gone back FT for financial reasons.. but am enjoying being back,

OP posts:
vmcd28 · 03/05/2011 22:39

Vickylou, don't you know any couples who have kids and work full time?!

Gabucci · 03/05/2011 23:42

might he have post-natal depression? \either that or he's a lazy shit...

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