DP copies off me all the time

[Latte81]

I know that sounds really childish for a title and I am wondering if I'm being childish about the whole thing but I'll put it over to you anyway, I'm sure you'll tell me if I am!

When DP and I first met I'd just come back from Florida. A few weeks later I realised he was trying to book the exact same holiday I had been on with my kids for him and his kids. At the time I just thought "fair enough, Florida is great, only natural he'd want to go." But he was also looking up Gran Canaria which happened to be the holiday I went on a couple of years before Florida. He said he's always wanted to go and he wanted to go with just me, not with the kids. This seemed a bit wierd as I'd gone to G. Canaria with just my ex, no kids.

But anyway this kind of thing has continued. Just before christmas DP bought a new mobile phone. Cheap thing for £40. I also needed a new phone and really had my eye on a £100 smart phone. He tried like mad to convince me to get the same phone as him but I didn't like it and so bought the smart phone. Within days he sold his £40 phone and bought the exact same phone as me. Bit wierd but I suppose lots of couples have a iphone each etc so not too wierd I suppose - but he'd only had his phone 2 days before he sold it to get one the same as mine.

I bought an xbox kinect for me and the kids. Days later he told me he'd bought one for him and his kids.

I told him I had a long term goal to go to Thailand and had started up a long term savings for it. Low and behold, within days he'd started up a "thailand fund".

I told him the other night that I'm getting sick of my mobile phone, it's not as good as I thought it was and I'm getting rid to buy a HTC. The next day he sent me a text detailing a package he was considering getting - and yes you guessed it, he gets the same HTC as I want with the package.

I told him I'm looking for a Ford Focus car. He's now looking to buy a Ford Focus car.

There's other stuff too but you get the drift. Am I being childish or is it seriously wierd to copy in this way??

They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. I'd guess that either a) He admires/respects you and your opinions, possibly more than he trusts his own judgement or b) He feels he's somehow going to score brownie points for making it seem like you're so compatible.

I'd guess that (a) is more likely and at this level, it would annoy me.

Next time he does it, try saying "Tell me, do you EVER have an original thought?"

Or roll your eyes and go "Blimey, if I ever need to get rid of you all I'd have to do would be to tell you I was planning to jump off a cliff!"

Seriously, he sounds like a bit of a jellyfish.

he sounds very wierd indeed

Although each little incident could be passed off as perfectly reasonable the whole picture is one of quite abnormal behaviour.

I would be quite concerned about this turning into controlling or obsessive behaviour and I think you need to challenge it somehow.

If you have the confidence you should just ask him straight out why he feels the need to copy your life so closely. That is quite confrontational and I'm not sure I'd do it if the relationship is still in the early days.

An alternative would be to change your phone or something else he's copied without telling him and if he gets wound up, irritated or goes to silly extremes to copy you immediately when he finds out you have more grounds to challenge it. At that point you can act really bemused, as if it's just occurred to you and ask him what's going on.

I would find a way to bring this up because you're only going to get more freaked out as time goes on and will be actively looking for it now. It needs resolving for you to move forward with your relationship.

Very weird! How long have you been together? What's his relationship history?

He sounds weird, yes, sorry! He sounds very intense and as though he doesn't trust his judgement. The thing is, you are the only one who is bringing anything to the relationship, aren't you?

He's Harold. He wants to turn you into Hilda.

I am showing my age. Twas a sitcom - ever decreasing circles with a couple who were so morphed into each other they were the 80s equivalent of Benifer Tomkat etceterage.

MBTFY - yes! Only it was Howard and Hilda [pedantic emoticon]

With their matching jumpers

That is weird!

Tell him you are thinking of buying him [insert something you'd like here] as a present...

God I have family friends like this. Drives me crazy. Arseholes

female friends...not family, lol. Why did I type that!

Definateley sounds odd Op .

Does he copy your opinions , for instance , opinions about politics or other stuff like that ? Does he use your phrases or has he adopted any of your manerisms ?

Why just not discuss things with him? Don't tell him just do it.

He sounds like a doormat in waiting. It would drive me mad and I would think it very odd.

Does he lack confidence in other ways?

Very strange. And an untenable situation IMO. You want to be with someone who brings new things to the relationship - different interests, things you can teach/learn. What you don't want is a passive mirror who just reflects everything you do back at you. That will drive you crazy really soon. I can't imagine there's much time left for your relationship before you start finding him really pathetic and annoying.

OOoo tell him you're thinking of decorating yor living room purple with lime spots/circles on the feature wall, its all the rage dont you know.
See what he says to that

LOL LOL @ ratspeaker.... that would be hilarious! OP, you could have some real fun with this before you dump him

Definately weird.

Lol I'm with ratspeaker and Calamity. There's a lot of fun to be had with this one...

Oh the possibilities...

Does he wait until you've actually bought/done something, or is mentioning that you're thinking about it enough? If the latter - well. The sky's the limit