For those who remember my previous posts.The conscensus from nearly everyone was that I should leave my H.That my H was having the best of both worlds by living alone in a flat and popping around to see me and kids.And that when I had asked H about moving back H had stated that he couldn't see that happening(unless I could think of something) as he'd have to give up flat and be taking a big risk.Well I haven't plucked up the courage to leave,so will understand if you don't want to answer my thread.But any responses would be greatly appreciated.
I've had alot of other issues to deal with(other than relationship with H).My youngest child has been physically lashing out at me(this started back in sept/oct time).I've since discovered that she was being bullied at school.Its been a tough few months.I know she's only a child but to be emotionally and physically attacked by your own child is emotionally draining and I have felt quite low.
I ended up moving her to another school as the school she was at wasn't really addressing the situation.
Because of this and other issues, my relationship with my H has still continued along the path of him popping around to see us.I have wanted to have a chat to H about the whole relationship situation(that I'm not sure whether it can work) and the fact that I'm still not happy with the way he acts but this conversation has been on hold whilst dealing with my daughter's situation.
So fast foreward to the last few weeks and what I'd really like your perspectives on..H has been gradually getting worse in some(not all)of his behaviour towards me.Nothing major but for instance yesterday,approx 4pm,I was on the phone to him.Whilst chatting I said that I had to get off the phone soon because I was expecting a professional around.They were coming to get an update on how things were going with my daughter(seeing if her behaviour towards me was calming down).He then says well thats ok when they knock on the door,answer it and if its them just say hang on a minute and then quickly finish call by telling me they have turned up and hang up.
I don't like doing this(he knows this).If I know someone is coming around I like to be prepared and off the phone(no distractions) and ready for the visit.I just find it courteous to do so(Am I weird to do that or is it normal).H says I'm strange doing this,but I think its normal.Anyway so I reminded him of this and also commented how I find it a bit annoying that he seems to want to call me when he knows someone is coming around to visit and will often do so during visits(professional ones or any other).On saying this H just hung up on me.
now the hanging up thing is something he's been doing more off again(did this in the past).Then later he's been ringing back(usually by about 10pm) and apologising.To me this is borderline abusive.After all,in a normal relationship,(correct me if I'm wrong)if someone is not happy with something their partners said they should just be stating that,not hanging up the phone.
So anyway along with everything else,I decided enough was enough and that if he tried to call to apologise I would not answer.This happened.
So since yesterday I haven't spoken to him.Then today I'm involved in quite a bad RTA.And when asked by medics who to contact I gave H number(due to H is only one who can collect kids from school).If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have told anyone.He was called,I went to A&E.I'm ok now just battered and bruised and still in a bit of shock.
So he comes to see me and took me home.Then after everything is sorted he then questions our situation(from the way he was acting,I think he wanted all to be forgiven,at one point he patted me on the bottom).I tell him I'm not happy(referring to his recent past behaviour and the whole not wanting to give up flat).That he is disrespectful,at the minimum and basically taking the ..He stated that he is always there for me when I need him(like todays situation or situations with the kids).This is true.But he seems to think that treating me ok most of the time and helping out in my time of need is good enough and that I'm focusing too much on the other behaviour.He also seems to think that he's being the good H by helping out and being there when things happen like the situation today and that somehow I should be grateful and ignore the rest.But surely thats not good enough.Anyway one thing led to another and he walked out.
The other gripe with him is that he is just downright lazy.It was another problem we had whilst living together and that still hasn't changed.spends most of the time watching TV,sleeping and ignoring the kids.
I know this sounds silly but I'm still not sure if I can just walk away from this.The kids are always asking about daddy coming back.