Does this sound like a workable plan to you?

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I know it's madness asking other people really but have gotten so much help on MN in the past - so here goes, sorry it's a bit long!

I'm 32, a teacher and have found it really hard getting a permanent job. Well the end is in sight and my current school have told me I will get a permanent contract next Easter - 2012 -

However - to briefly summarise - I have no children at the moment, we just couldn't afford it b/c of the cost of childcare and we have no family/people we could ask to help us out. We live 100 ish miles from my parents/200 miles from DH's parents. I would however like to have a child - I'm not aiming for a big family and would feel blessed with one, tbh.

Anyway - dh has gotten the offer of a great job in the town where my parents live and it's a no brainer - we should definitely go- near parents, could help out with childcare (if lucky enough to get pregnant)

The dilemma is my job - I don't want to give it up, there are precious few teaching posts in the area we are moving to - so is it madness to consider travelling/staying over a few nights and just making a bit of a sacrifice in order to secure the permanent contract? My plan is once I get a perm contract to ttc and hopefully request 2/3 day week and hopefully the request would be accepted.

HT is a family man - 6 children of his own, so hopefully he will understand my position.

I know that if I had a baby - I wouldn't be prepared to stay away from home - so I would need to get 2/3 days a week and if my request was declined I would just leave the school and look for supply teaching.

Have I given enough details? Do you think what I'm thinking is crazy or could it work? I realise there are lots of variables and what if's but I understand that.

As some extra info we wouldn't be relying on my salary at all, this isn't about money as dh's job is well paid - however for me I need to work.

Sorry to ramble - any thoughts?

I think you may be over-thinking

Why don't you start ttc now?

Bear in mind that you have the right to have 1 year maternity leave anyway, and you may feel differently about working - not to mention have different or unexpected circumstances - if and when baby arrives.

I think it would be madness to plan to commute 100miles, even for a few days a week, once you have a family tbh. It sounds like you feel the move wold be right for you in the long term, so maybe start looking for posts nearer to there for now.

I am with you on the 'need to work' thing - I really thought about what it was that work offered me (sense of self other than 'mum', responsibility, using skills, income, interaction with adults, etc) and thought about how I could access these things differently (I moved to a very small place with no job opportunities in my line!). As it happens, I work from home but I also volunteer on local committees. If no teaching posts came up perhaps you could tutor or similar?

Can't ttc now as my job is temp until next year so I wouldn't have a job to go back to.

There is a temp job advertised close to my new home and my parents are going crazy at me to apply but I don't feel I can as I would be letting my current school down (they like me, I'm a good teacher) and they would only have few weeks to replace me.

Oh my goodness - I'm so confused.

Really - would it be impossible to commute 100 miles? It's 100 miles each way, btw

I could tutor but would miss being part of a school community. Love the buzz of teaching, even when things go wrong and the boss is a nightmare!!

I'm such a saddo - but it gives me such a kick!!

It wouldn't be impossible, it would just be very wearing, very costly and very time-consuming IMO...

I get that you don't want to let your school down, but you really ahve to think of you and your future. Bear in mind, you do not yet have that permanent contract, simply the promise of one!

Why don't you apply and see what happens? They might already have someone but had to advertise IYKWIM. Keep your options open, since you said these jobs don't come up very often.

But seriously, your job feels most significant right now because the baby/family thing is just a concept that you can't fully imagine or comprehend. You may feel very differently once you start your own family, plus you are closer to your own family whom you may wish to spend time with.

You have said you don't need to work for the money - if I were you I would apply for that job, start working on my family (in the knowledge that it may take time, or that I will not have a job to go back to), make the move, keep an eye on the opportunities in the new area (including work/volunteering, etc).

Easy for me to say, eh?

plus having children tends to give you automatic entry to the 'school community'...

I think those 2/3 days would be very long ones. I think you should look closer to your new home, tbh. I realise you feel you're letting the school down and losing the chance of something permanent, but I'm not sure it's fair on the school to take the job when you'd be stretching yourself that much and knowing that you'll want to go part-time, either.

Surely if there is the opportunity of work, even temporary, nearby, there's also the chance it could turn into something permanent too, or at least you'd become their preferred choice for cover.

The costs of commuting should be a consideration , my DH does around 90 miles a day ( he wouldn;t want to do more) and it's now £40 a week in diesel, also what would the route be like in winter? - the winter terms are the longest don't forget. It can take DH up to 2 hours to get home if it snows because he works in rural Derbyshire.
I'm of the opinion that your career should fit in with your family life and not the other way around, teaching is one of the more family friendly jobs, I'd look at starting a family and then look at work prospects closer to home.

YOu are looking at 2.5 hours each way commuting.

So five hours a day driving to and from work.

In the area we live, they are crying out for supply teachers. You say that salary isn't an issue. Why not move to near H's parents, start ttc, then do supply until (hopefully) DC arrive, then go back to it a day or two a week afterwards? I think the commuting thing, especially with a baby would be an exhausting nightmare.

Thanks for the wise words.

I have filled out the application form - so I'll post it and see what happens.

I know that there are so many teachers - my school could easily get someone else, but I guess I just like to feel needed

Oh I hope it all works out.