Ive had enough

[crissyboo]

As the title says really....I have had enough, my other half is just treating me like poo on his shoe :( and it is really getting me down. He is constantly rude to me, when he can be bothered to speak to me its always snidy comments about my over eating, my weight, or the fact that I have not tidied up the house or cooked a good enough dinner for the family..... I have just had a week off work to spend some time with my 3 year old....I currently work 28 hours a week in one job and then work 10 hours a week in another job but thats not enough for him, I am always called lazy for not keeping on top of the washing or not tidying up enough.....you would think we live in a real messy and dirty home but really its not, there may be washing that needs putting away or my lo's toys may not be away but hey there really is more to life.
Anyway just lately I have been concidering leaving him and living on my own with my son but I have lived with him since I lleft home at age 18 so would not know where to start. I am beginning to feel trapped.....:(

wow....this is first time I have let these thoughts out of my head, I am not good at talking to people about my feelings so nobody knows how i am feeling :(

What a complete bastard your 'partner' is.

If you stay with this abuser he will grind you down until you don't even know who you are anymore.

Honestly, for your sake and the sake of your child you must leave him or get him out of your home.

is good to let it out here when you dnt want to worry friends and family abt ur problems,with time you will be able to talk to them.dnt let him bring you down talk to him abt how you feel and do what is best for you and ur child.

You are working your butt off and all he can do is slag you off?

Go to your nearest CAB for some advice about what you'll be entitled to if you decide to split.Some give phone advice too.I think you need to get out of this situation, he sounds a loser and you are too good for him.

Exactly what does he do around the house/in the way of child care?

You should be able to claim tax credits (if you don't already, if you do then you will need to make a new claim as a single parent if you decide to leave). Also you will be able to claim a discount on council tax, possibly housing benefit.

I'm angry for you and not surprised you've had enough.

'wow....this is first time I have let these thoughts out of my head, I am not good at talking to people about my feelings so nobody knows how i am feeling'

crissy, your post was eloquent and heartfelt...you are clearly good at expressing yourself here on mn. Talk some more.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Get out now, for your child's sake as well as your own.

Thank you all for your replies, it felt good to be able to finally chat about how I feel and what its like in here.......

Sometimes I feel like its just me being over sensitive but writing it all down has made me realise how difficult it has been.

I have been on anti depressants for about 2 years and if I ever broach the subject of him not being very nice to me he says "you need to take more of your loopy or happy pills....your not taking enough" I see a counsellor and when he asks when my next appointment is he will say "when are you going back to that f*** up head woman" aaarrrggggghhhhh
I feel so angry now just writing it all down :(

Thanks again for listening/reading x

Angry's good. He's got nil respect for you. How many hours does he work and what does he do around the house? Does he have any redeeming features? (please don't tell us he's a great dad...)

Happy Pills, mmm. yes, just what mine used to call them...arse. Strangely enough, after I removed him from my life, I didn't need them anymore.

he sounds truly unpleasant and you deserve far more than to be his skivvy. I can't see any reason to stay with this person, as he seems to give you absolutely nothing positive. Get out as soon as you can, and start enjoying your life.

crissyboo you poor thing. Your relationship/partner sounds awful. I hope you find a resolution. I nearly always think people should work at their relationships, but your P is horrible. What would be your reasons for not leaving, other than fear of change? Your life will almost certainly be better without him in it, as he is, or at least if he sees you are serious about leaving it might make him change.

Oh dear, that sounds horrible!

It's good to let your emotions out so you can have a clear head to make the right decisions for you.

Oh dear.

It sounds to me I know you've only posted one side of the story and all that) but it sounds like:

1. He is very controlling of you
2. It boosts his own ego by putting you down
3. He bullies you

It also sounds like

1. You are understandably frightened of being on your own
2. You have very low self esteem caused by the above situation
3. depression could be linked to the above

...yet you have the strength and insight to see what the problem is, indicating that he is incorrect and you are not useless / stupid etc.

So, it seems to me you have a choice: put up and shut up and feel like this for the rest of your life; or change something.

You can either change yourself into the domestic goddess / barbie-doll hybrid he would like, or you can try to change him, or you can change the situation.

IME, he will still be unhappy when you are Domestic Goddess Barbie and will still put you down etc as his insecrutires come from within and are not your fault.

Therefore you can try to help him change, or change the situation. Would he be open to counselling etc? Or would he be happier to continue blaming you for everything including when you walk out. Unfortunately I suspect the latter but I hope I'm wrong.

I know in reality it's not as black-and-white as this but i hope you can see the wood for the trees as a results of this summary.

Good luck, have courage and be positive. Make decisions with confidence and with your heart - with your children as your priority, but not neglecting yourself.