Just got out of relationship

[laue02]

out of relationship after years of abuse and violence really struggling with kids behaviour and bedtimes any idea, have 3 boys 7,6,2

It must be really tough for you. You have to get your own routine established while undoing some of the habits they've got into.

I did a parenting class organised by our school parent advisor. It was brilliant - really tackled lots of issues. Would highly recommend it, I met some lovely people from all kinds of backgrounds and situations.

It was a free class running over 8 weeks during school time, if that's any use to you?

i remember mine were a little wild when i first split with my ex. its normal

are you still in old home?

just keep the routine going. keep calm.

any family support? maybe speak to health visitor?

You will probably feel calmer anyway without all the relationship trauma going on.

Keep a routine, make it enjoyable; nice bath into bed and story

Still in own home as he is in prision on remand to enter plea in may, not much family support, just my family briefly not his will try talking to someone for help just hard to admit you're not coping very well, what's this course where is it does every school do them thanks

Did the DCs witness the abuse/violence?

Some a couple of years ago, but just mainly arguments recently up on charges of rape so really hard, can't explain to them what's happened, oldest still up now and has full day of football tommorow, hopefully will get better at some point

laue02 they will settle down you just need to take 1 day at a time. Maybe contact the school and see if they have a home school link worker, or is there a family children's centre near to you? They might have details of a course you could do.

Otherwise, you could ring your health visitor and ask for advice and support. Hope that helps a little bit, I feel for you, but I am now 4 months down the line and things are statrting to settle down, it will get better, keep your chin up.

I have DS (5) he played up a bit when X left. I can't imagine how tough it could be with three, and 7, 6 and 2? Harsh!

Can you try talking to them, separately? see what they are thinking and tell them that you are sad, scared and need their help. Tell them that the Team needs them to help, not fight, and that no matter what they think, feel or worry about, you are there to listen and to help them in every way. OK so that would work with the 2 eldest, but getting them calm will help the 2yo.

What are you telling them about their Dad? if nothing at all, they may be confused. You may have to come up with something to tell them, in an age appropriate way.

Reward charts? would they work? could you try?

It will get better, in time, keep talking to them, keep listening and observing. You have all been through a traumatic situation, it's only natural that there will be some fall out.