Split over finances

[CrankyFrankyMum]

Am posting on here for a bit of friendly advice before I sit down and talk to my husband.
Background is that we have very seperate finances. Due to poor credit rating (on his side) we have been unable to get a joint bank account since we married 5 years ago. He works full time and earns a very decent wage and pays for mortgage and bills from his monthly salary. He has some personal debts but also manages to save a little every month. He certainly does not go without. I work part time from home. I earn a meagre wage and pay for all food shopping and childcare for our DD2 (eldest is funded). I also pay for days out I take our DD's on and all their clothes etc. I also pay majority for birthdays and christmas. I have personal debts but don't manage to save at all.
My problem at the moment is that my FIL has recently given my DH quite a considerable sum of money and my DH has used it ALL to purchase himself a piece of sporting equipment.

Am I being unreasonable to think that his behaviour was quite selfish? Or should I accept his thinking that it was his money to spend?

He is being a totally selfish twat
He should heave bought something for the family or used it for a treat fro you all.
I hope you challenged him on this.

Why did the ful give him the money? Was it to make a specific purchase? Was the gift to him personally or to the family?

FIL gave him the money because his parents have been helping his sister out with some things financially and they wanted to give him the same.

Doha - I feel the same really. I was given a much smaller amount as a gift from family recently and used it to by us a family season ticket for the local zoo. Something we could all use.

CFM - I think the whole set up is unfair and you need to talk about it.

I am of the opinion that if you are married you share everything. So ALL your money goes in one pot, then the bills and mortgage are paid, the kids are clothed and fed, debts are paid down etc. etc. What is left (if there is anything left?) is shared out between the two partners as agreed.

Whether or not you can actually have a joint accout is irrelevant. You can work it out on a spreadsheet.

Did you agree on something different when you got married? Or is this something that's never been talked about? If so, you need to sit him down NOW and get some clarity, because it sounds like he's taking the piss at the moment.

Oh - and what lovely present did he buy you and the kids out of his windfall?

I would be gutted. I was married for 18 years and every penny earned or given was ours, not his or mine, we were a team x

You are a couple he is not a single man without responsibilities. You are left with nothing, yet he has savings? Madness.