Please help me help my friend :-(

[JazzieJeff]

I recently found out my friend has left her husband after a row turned violent and he beat her with the children in the house. She called the police and he was arrested. Now it's dealing with the practicalities of the situation. I want to help her. But I don't know what to say, or practical suggestions I can make. I'm going over tonight once once the dc are in bed with wine and cake. I just don't know what to say. I just bloody well texted her asking her what sort of cake shall I bring?

God, what a loser I must sound like. Poor thing doesn't need cake, she needs... Well, I don't know. Help, please?

She just needs friends like you! People who will listen and be there whatever she needs.

And tissues!
You're a lovely friend - and cake is very important...x

1st things 1st, go tonight and just listen to her.

Point her in the direction of CAB for practical advice.

Cake is ESSENTIAL! Dont underestimate the value of cake n tea.

agree with biscuits. just go round and listen and be there. tell her you are there and you will do anything she needs you to do. make sure she knows 3am is a great time to call if that's when she needs to. i know that sounds silly and you mightn't relish the idea but when i left EXp it always hit me when the kids were in bed and the house was quiet. i got to thinking and then the tears came but even though people said to call anytime, night or day, i never felt i could. i had one friend though who works nights in a residential home and would talk to me for hours at a time if i needed to. it really helped to know someone was there at my hour of need.

Just being there is enough. Professionals will now be involved. Friends are valuable. Just keep reassuring her that she will get through this.

I'm not sure about professionals being involved, as the situation is complex and I don't want to out myself on here. I am concerned for her financially though. He is paying for the house, but has blocked her from accessing his current account. She is a SAHM with a 2 older children and a young baby. Is she entitled to extra help? He says he will put money into her account on payday; what if this doesn't happen? She was going to go back to work one day a week but not sure if that'll still happen obviously.

She will be entitled to benefits, if the house is mortgaged she stays in it and he leaves she does not have to sell it until the children are 18 providing it is in joint names.

Military accom, no mortgage. He's left/barred from the house, no clue what the rules are now.

You sound LOVELY! a perfect sort of friend!