Please help me - how do I leave my husband?

[notahappycamper]

What do I do?
I am sitting here in tears. He started again last night as I had fallen asleep in front of the TV. He thought we were going to spend the evening swinging from the lights even though I had already told him no.
Anyway when we were in bed he started ranting on for about an hour - you had your hair cut last week it looks shit, you never speak any more, you are boring, you are dead inside, you look a mess, you never spend money on yourself, keep this attitude up tomorrow and you'll wish you never got out of bed etc.
I didnt say anything. There was nothing to say. He was off with me this morning.
How do people do it? I have 3 children, 2 at school and I work 3 days Wed to Fri. I have no family to go to nearby. He keeps my bank card and I have to ask for money or tell him what I am spending it on. I have managed to squirrel away £130.

Please help me

Thanks for all the advice. I hope I am strong enough to walk away.
He is bullying me. He doesnt think he is but I know how I feel when I hear the key in the door.
Another thing he said to me last night was that he was going to walk out on me but then the kids wouldlnt have a dad. But they dont anyway. How I wish he doesnt come back

I am going through a shite time at the moment as well but just a practical bit of advice. You mentioned not being able to open another bank account because of financial difficulties. You will be accepted for a Co-operative cash account. You will have a visa debit card but no cheque book or overdrafts. I am in serious financial difficulties and was advised to get one of these accounts and they know all about my situation and were fine. If you haven't got a local co-op bank don't worry, you can withdraw from any cash point and you can deposit money via the post office. You can also post cheques to them with banking envelopes so it's all covered, I find them very good to deal with.

Hope this helps.

We have been married for 20 years. We have 3 loveliest children ( 2 at uni and one has two more years to go). I watched my husband being an introvert to a communication novice and still trying, I watched him asking his mother if I was correct in feeding our first born solid, to trying to stop me helping with children's homwork. I heard him saying to me ' to find a real job' at my second year of Uni, ( it took me over 20 years to go back studying), I hear him telling me that I live under his roof as he is cleverest person around and a bread winner. I hear him say my degree serves a good purpose in his international field and not just any cashier from behind the till, I let him drives to the edge of alcoholism. I let him push me to mental despair and then try to pick up my self esteem with a bruised soul. I have no job to go to and no money of my own.My family cannot help and he keeps his family away from me. I want to be around for our youngest just for two more years. Recently I picked up my paintbrushes again and paint and thinking to sell, he tells me that it has been his investment all along and that I should do it for others liking. He has a good job and proud at what he does, he appears charming and reasonable to those new found friends and sometimes I am not even included.

There is not a single day goes by for the last 6 years now trying to formulate something to take leave.
Having read so many articles about women want to be free of husbands, the most important thing is MONEY, it seems the only way out to make fresh starts. With young children is very hard. I have only two more years to go.

You are being financially and emotionally abused. When there is this much control involved there is a risk of physical violence if you challenge this so you need to be very careful and speak to Women's Aid. You can get out of this relationship safely but you do need advice.