i've been with OH for nearly 7 years. my dd is not his, she is my ex husbands child but he left when she was just over 1, i met OH when she was almost 2 so he has been "dad" (she has had regular contact with her bio dad but she thinks herself "lucky" to have two daddys"). its been an up and down relationship, mainly the last 2 years have been horrible. he started a new business with a guy who used to work for him when his FIRST business was "big" and they started going pub after work for a pint. not a problem, happy for him to do so. but after 2 years it has become going for 5 pints and getting home at half ten/eleven and then me having to make him some kind of quick tea. it all came to a bit of a head on thursday. he is chums with the young lad who works behind the bar and it was his gf's 19th birthday, so we said we would pop along, there was a band and some entertainment for the kids until later. i had a glass of wine and a flute of champers. apparently i was "embarassing". he had had 6 pints of beer. as had his mates. anyway he was silent on drive home, got dd to bed, and he started on me, embarassing cow, disgusted me, flirting with my mate (eh?! - his mate was all over some other woman - AND hes married to a woman i know!) so i stormed out. no intention of going anywhere but stomping out for a while, sat on a bench by our house and got upset, a lady i speak to a lot in the local waitrose (i mean co-op but waitrose makes me sound like i live in landan tawn) sat with me and invited me up with her and her OH to a pub - its a really rough pub, i wouldn't ever go in before but hey i wasnt judging she was kind and it was actually OK. a tad rough but most people were friendly. i stayed with her and her boyf turned up and we talked and talked as ppl do with other women when they have had a tad too much to drink and are angry/upset. i got back and he blew up at me. terribly. i was a slag a whore a bitch blah blah. i couldnt be trusted. etc.
so that was done with, saturday night he finally told me how it is. he does not love me, he never has, its not "there for him". he cares but doesnt love me and would prefer it if i left. if it was up to him, he would "let" me stay and he would "use me" (His words). so now im stuck here. he doesnt love me or want me and i have to HAVE to be a big brave girl (ha!) and leave!