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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

friendship for DP

1 reply

pokeybum · 25/04/2011 22:35

Sorry for the name change just felt it was the right thing to do.

Firstly there is nothing under hand, inappropriate or misunderstood about this friendship I just want some suggestion on how to talk to DP about it.

DP likes to fish (dull sod) he has a group of people he has met through fishing some younger some older. They go to different places together share lifts etc.

Young lad fishes with this group he is 14. He has a lot of trouble at home and DP has taken him under his wing. Childrens services are involved with the family. DP is support/advocate for this lad with his parents and CS approval.

We have had him over most weeks, for tea, stayed over when things are a bit rough etc etc. I am happy that he feels he can.

It is now getting too much. DP worked away last week picked up said lad on his way home Thursday tea time. I asked him to take him home sat tea time. They went fishing sunday he stayed for tea and asked DP to take him home. I was out with friends today DP picked him up today to help him sort out the garage. He has now taken him to play darts (no problem with that) And I have asked him to take him home afterwards.

I have talked to DP several times about this, and have asked for him to stay just 1 night in a weekend. Dp agreed that it should not impact upon our family/us. I also suggested that the relationship is not of adult/child, but he has him more as a peer, and I don't think it is appropriate. DP doesn't agree he sees it has him helping this lad out.

Help I am just going round in circles.

Also we do no have a spare home so when he does stay it is on the sofa so makes it akward in the mornings for me.

OP posts:
rumred · 26/04/2011 10:18

it sounds like your partner is treating this lad like a peer and that could be really problematic at some point.

could you speak with your partner about what he ggets from the relationship? try to understand it but also help him to understand his motivation?

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