so...a single mother...that wasnt the plan

[beaconhouse]

hi, this is my first posting and it feels a little strange to talk to people i dont know but really wondered how other single mums cope...i have three oy under ten and work part time. we have been on our own for a few years and have no problems with my ex. he is settled with new partner and she is great with the children...for the most part it is ok and on a day to day basis we manage fine but sometimes..like now... it feels so hard and so lonely. scared that if i started to cry i wuoldnt be able to stop....its such hard work and if i think about the future (no money,emotional support etc) i get into a bit of a panic and wonder if i really can cope....so how do other people do it? Guess i need a good talking to and old to pull myself together.

hi and welcome. Being a single parent wasn't my plan either - I had everything mapped out. XH had other ideas though.

If you've managed a few years with 3 small dc's, you're already doing incredibly well! I try not to look too far into the future, anything could happen. You may well meet another partner at some stage if that's what you want to do.

I think bank holidays make everything so much worse. There seem to be happy families everywhere. I have a lovely new DP now, but we don't live together, and it can still be really lonely at times. You will be ok, it's just a bad day.

There is a lone parents board on here where you can get lots of support too. Come and say hi!

Do you have other lone parent friends? And family support?

I would find it really hard to manage without my parents and siblings helping out. I know how lucky I am to have their help but still doesnt make up for my DC's Dad seeing them every couple of months for a couple of hours .
It is getting easier the older my DC get, and I suppose I'm getting used to it too.

I'm a single mum of 1 and I struggle at times so def don't be hard on yourself, 3 kids on your own is a lot! My advice would be to make time for yourself, treat yourself when possible, be proud of yourself!

I have done a couple of holidays with single with kids and have really enjoyed both of them, great way to meet other single mums and to have a holiday where you are not on your own.

Hi, hanks for the response. think have left another posting on the lone parent section but not sure if it worked!!!!

my famialy live three hours away and lost many friends through the marriage split so am doing this very much alone..which isnt always a bad thing for someone who may possess a few control freak characteristics (a-hem)

yes, i guess you do get used to your situation...and there are plenty of good bits with just the odd bit of self pity thrown in.

Sometimes i feel i am pretending to be a 'good mum' but am failing behind closed doors....you know, showing everyone how independant and strong you are and then shouting at the boys to get to bed rather than the lovely peacefull bedtime story time which i would like to have all the time but sometimes just dont have the energy for.