This is about my sis, she is SO bitter and twisted about my dad, i find it hard to respond to her.

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She is in her late 30's and is bitter about my dad from stuff he did when we were kids and teenagers.
She is very agressive and does not believ in councelling although i think that this may help her to unpick all of her (severe) anger issues.

She cannot see that it is affecting the way in which she interacts with other people including her own child.

When she speaks about him, she literally shakes with vicious anger and fury.
I cant get that worked up tbh.

i just find myself avoiding her, but i feel so sorry for her too.
WWYD?

Did your dad behave differently towards your DSIS than he did to you? I know my DSS is farmore dammaged by his Bio M than his siblings as she treated so badly (think child called IT)!!

What "stuff"? This is pretty important. I'm guessing it's abuse? There's an implication in your post that she's still angry about this at her age is somehow unreasonable, but without knowing what the issue is, it's hard to say what you should do and if she is.

Is she older or younger than you, OP?

What you remember from your childhood that is now insignificant could be very different for her.

My elder sister is in regular contact with my bio dad. I have nothing to do with him. We rarely discuss it, so I dont know whether she wasnt subjected to the same amount of abuse as I was, or whether she has forgotten/blocked it out or is just a different person to me. We accept we are different though, and dont discuss him. He came to her wedding but I managed to avoid him completely.

I know however that I am classed as the black sheep of the family and have been accused of making it up or embellishing it several times. That doesnt help resolve issues from childhood abuse let me tell you.

I have anger issues and relationship issues still from my childhood. I have had 2 lots of counselling. Sometimes abuse is that shitty that is does carry on well into adult hood.

Have you talked to her about it all? What exactly makes her angry and upset?

What the hell did he do to her? Poor woman. To have that reaction, god only knows.

I think you should try and acknowledge her anger. It sounds like you're kind of invalidating her experiences by dismissing them. You had the same father but NOT the same childhood.

Well, he was very agressive and quite physically and mentally threatening towards us all.

According to her and my other siblings, i got the worst of it from both parents. (my memory is that my mother was the most abusive)

I listen to her, i agree with her that it was bad, and i completely acknowledge her anger (its very hard to miss) but i struggle with the anger side of it, she is very much like him in her manerisms tbh when she is furious all of the time.

She is argumentative and opinionated and very vocal about how we are all bringing our kids up wrongly.....she is also completetly convinced that she is right and every one else is wrong. This makes it difficult to communicate with her about it all.

she is 18 months younger than me.