why do I feel like im the one being punished?

[claireyy]

Hey
well basically me and oh split two days ago. It all started when I asked him to pack lo bag as we were going out for the day. He decided to get in a mood about it, he had been ignoring me and just being plain rude all morning. I asked him not to b so rude and he blew up in my face with him admitting he cant cope, doesnt want to c me or lo again, which ended in him throwing our hoover at a wall and smashing the chest of drawers, all in front of our lo.

I told him to leave and he will not b aloud to c me or hes son until he sorts himself out and learns to control hes temper. We have not been getting on as he does nothing for lo, ignores me, pisses off to the pub all the time, throws hes wages in the bookies and everytime he has a day off will cause a row so he can storm out and go the pub (which he would have arranged to do with one of hes mates) and he always complains saying all I do is have a go...r u surprised!

Im so angry, I do not want him back, but hes posting all over facebook how hes been out on the lash for the last few days and is having a great time. Meanwhile im stuck looking after our son all on my own! Hes the one whos done wrong, so why do I feel like im being punished?

Just ignore it. It sounds like you are better off without him.

Dont go on facebook (cant understand why people do unless teenagers).

OP - you want rid and the fact he's all over facebook crowing over his lack of family commitment means it's evidence for you in a divorce. Use your anger constructively

Get rid of this violent person. He sounds like he cannot cope with being an adult with a family.
That must have been very scary for you and your ds to see. Hope you both OK. Ultimately you'll be better off on your own than with someone who likes smashing things and chucking large objects around.

what a child, he knows you will see this message and he is reminding you who is in charge (or trying to be) and if he is having such a great time who thinks about posting on fb (unless you are 15)

would you rather be going out and getting drunk day after day, though i can understand you may need a bit of time on your own you would soon want to be home with your lo

good for you for not putting up with his behaviour its not easy and stay away from facebook

look at the bigger picture.......a life like that isnt sustainable,especially when his 'mates' all move on and settle down

also,contact CSA for maintenence

You will be much better off without him, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Tomorrow morning get straight onto the CSA, CAB etc Find out what you need to do/know to get things sorted out (house/benefits etc).

Do NOT ask him to come back.
Do NOT take him back if he asks to come back.

If he asks for time with DS say NO, tell him he said he doesn't want to see him anymore so he can whistle. If he asks again when things have calmed down I would only let him have supervised access with people I trusted to look after DS & keep him safe.

Ignore all his witterings on Facebook - he's only posting what he wants everyone to see.

You will have a good social life again too - just not this weekend. Make plans for you & DS next weekend.

In what way are you being punished?

You have got rid of an idiot who makes more work than he helps and you cab look after your son without thinking he might get hit with flying hoovers and scared by his father yelling.

Make sure he doesn't have access to any money that you need to support yourself and you son with. Don't let him piss that up the wall the way he is with any money he has now.

I would say take a SS of his postings on facebook so that if/when he comes crawling back all you have to do is look at them to see how much he really cared about you and your child.

Thanks everyone
I definatly do not want to take him back...but that does not mean I have been able to switch my feelings for him off

its just been a horrible weekend and im feeling lonely :-( thats y I feel punished as it feels like im the only one who is upset while he goes and has a great time.

Although I keep reminding myself that ive got the best invaluble thing that beats going out and being able to do what I want....my gawjus lil man, who does not deserve to b around a waste of space like that! :-)