Why has he just not learned yet?

[angrymomma]

Ex DH had 3 DCs all weekend. When they returned earlier I asked them what they had been doind...they said "nothing".

Am so pissed about this. The weather has been amazing and they have spent all weekend in the house whilst EX watched sport on TV.

THIS WAS WHY I LEFT HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. He just never made time or did anything with the children, HIS children.

Every bloody weekend was the same, we did nothing as a family. He never wanted to go anywhere with us, we always went without him.

So I left because I was basically a single parent washing his clothes, cooking his meals, and servicing his willy. I figured we would be the same if we moved out....so I did.

You would think the EX would have sort of 'caught on' to this by now, surely? But, no, he still does sod all with the DCs and just expects them to entertain themselves all weekend. They get fed McDonalds and KFC then get shunted off to bed so he can watch more TV.

Is it me or are men just completely incapable of actually interacting with their own children?

I realise I cannot stop him seeing them, but would appreciate a bit mor enthusiasm on his part. However, apart from actually giving him a written itinery I don't really know how to handle this. Any advice?

Sorry MrsF, I read your comment wrong. I see what you mean now.

Thing is, why should not giving your DCs fresh air and excercise be classed as neglect. Yes, they are fed and clothed, but lying on sofa watching TV all day whilst DCs get more and more bored is neglect in my opinion.

But why does that imply that I think it would elicit state interference elsewhere?

Why are you getting your knickers in a twist about wording?

I haven't disagreed with you, what are you trying to pick an argument about?

"Kids just being left to watch TV indoors on a nice sunny day and not being taken outsie for physical activity instead does not constitute neglect in this or any other country as far as I am aware.

Unless they all end up hugely obese with mobility issues as a result. Which they won't. Because this is about a sunny weekend. Not an ongoing parental lifestyle choice."

I said exactly that ages ago.

Give talking to him a go. You may be flogging a dead horse, but at least you will be able to tell yourself and your kids that you did your very best. And mean it. But that's in the future.

In the present, look at what he is providing. Look at what you could provide given the time. Work out what is best for the DCs and you and work on that. If you can change things, change them.

Not all men do this and not only men do this, either. Some people are lazy, selfish parents.
I'm afraid there is no point in talking to this man and asking him to change. He has already made it clear that he doesn't give a flying fuck what you think and is only interested in his own whims. For the moment, your DC are not going to come to any real harm, though their time with him is probably very boring for them - but you have them the majority of the time. As they get older and get more reluctant to be cooped up like this, do you think your XP will be willing to have less contact time so that they can eg stay with you on certain weekends that should have been 'his' time and go to parties or whatever? And are there other people (your parents or indeed his parents) who might like or be able to look after DC sometimes so you get a break?