Hi Peeled , yes , it means 3 goes and your out , whatever the issue , whatever behaviour you dont like whether its pesistantly being late , making jokes at your expense , or in my case the tickling . It can feel petty and ridiculous , i have to reframe it in my mind or i wont follow through . Ie if i were to say to myself , oh its only a bit of tickling , he wasnt trying to kill me fgs, im taking this a bit too literally ect , id end up excusing it and thinking it was about the tickling . It wasnt.
What actually happened is he playfully tickled me . At this stage to be fair he wasnt to know i didnt like it so no big deal initially , although i did tell him clearly i didnt like it . He apologized immediateley . The second time , it didnt feel like playfull tickling because he already knew how i felt about it , it was a physical act that he inflicted on me whilst ignoring my feelings about it. I again told him i really didnt like it , that id told him previously , and to not do it again . He again apologized aparently sincereley .
At this point i was thinking " please dont do it again or ill have to bin you " , but goes without saying he did , despite being told clearly and loudly how i felt about it . This happened on 3 seperate occasions not all on one day . It wasnt a gentle ticke on the arm but a full on horrific tickle under the arms and all over ( sounds funny writing that down !) and i was squirming and squeeling . Nobody could think i was enjoying it.
It really was about him inflicting himself on me this way , doing something physical to me that i did not like and ignoring my feelings . I also suspect it was an attempt to humiliate me . Either way it was a warning that he was not respecting my feelings or my right to say No and had unhealthy boundarys and an issue of " ownership " i felt . ( Dickhead ). Counseller stressed that 3 goes and your out will weed out all the tossers immediateley and shes right . Theres plenty of them out there , and there harmless until you get into a relationship with them . The idea is to stop them at the door .People with healthy boundrys recognise these tossers immediateley and instinctiveley come away , its not that they dont meet them , they do , but they discard them quickly . Suckers like me marry them 
We talked about being mindfull , as Garlic says , which was very very difficult for me , because as soon as someone was rude to me my heart would pound , i would feel sick and shaky and time would go fast until it was all over . This wasnt in response to being attacked by the way , it could be something as simple as someone pushing in front of me in a queue .I would pretend it didnt happen because i didnt want to deal with it .
I learnt how to be aware of where i am , how im feeling , and where im feeling it . I learnt to feel my feet on the floor , the wind in my hair , to notice how my body feels and to be right here , right now , instead of staggering through each day in a sleepwalking state as i had always done . Its quite a wake up call . Everything looks and feels differant , it sounds daft but i often notice how comfortable my body is , and ive sort of missed it . A nice side effect for me is that time goes reeaallyy slowly for some reason.
Im off to look at this DESC thing , im not quite there yet.