I can't do anything can I?

[gregssausageroll]

Will keep this brief.

Found out on Friday night that fiance (A) of a very good friend of mine is having an affair.

Group of girls out on Friday - I was the one not to know and was told about it coming home in the car. (A) wanted to stay out and begged me to stay with her - said no and came home in car with girl who was driving (B) and left (A) in town. Wasn't happy leaving her but she said she'd met an old friend and was perfectly safe. Was told that the entire evening, ie bumping into this guy had been planned all along - I thought she was texting her Fiance/DD but no apparently was texting this bloke.

Was told that 4 weeks ago at a night out (A) had bumped into this guy and brought him back to my friends house (B) (DH and I were away). Party went on quite late and when (B) was going to bed she heard someone in her spare room and went into check (A) was in bed with this bloke. (B) told me she was so shocked she just walked away. By the time (B) got up, (A) had gone but that resulted in frantic texting begging (B) not to say anything to (A) fiance who is one of our best friends. I've been told that (A) got home at 8.30 and her fiance came in off night shift at 8.50 am!

There was apparently lots of texting to (B) from (A) yesterday again begging her to say that we all came home together.

I hope all of that makes sense. I told DH yesterday and he is furious. I know we can't do anything other than if our friend specifically asks questions relating to Friday night that I will not lie for (A) and cover for her but I feel in such an awkward position because if our friend ever does find out and he knows that DH and I knew all along he'll be devastated.

You need to tell your friend, you can't keep this from him. Else you could give (A) an ultimatum that she tells him or you do.

She is behaving appallingly.

Tbh I would give her 7 days to tell her fiance or I would. Not only is it wrong on every level, it's devestating when the truth comes out to discover friends knew and did nothing, he will feel just as betrayed by you.

Also, the longer you let her carry on with this guy, the closer she will get to him and her and her fiance may never work this out. Are there dc involved?

Yes it is wrong of her to put you in this position to start with. Making you decide which side you are loyal to would instantly lose her my loyalty iyswim.

You can't be colluding in this sort of thing. Tell him, or make her tell him.

There are children involved but from previous relationships. His DD is much older at 18 but her twins are 11.

Ultimatum is possibly a good idea.

With work and other commitments tonight will be the first time DH and I have the chance to discuss in full.

With dc involved you have to tell. Next thing you know she could leave him with the dc if she's already selfish enough to be engaging in this affair.

Thanks all. I am so upset about it I can't tell you. I know it is going to come down to me telling him about it.

The funny thing about it all but it makes sense now is that (A) accused her fiance (my good friend) of having an affair with me last year. We've never seen each other like that at all and I doubt very much if we will.

I would make absolutely sure that this is actually happening before you say anything to your friend. At the moment it's all something another friend has told you. Speak to A first to see if you can ascertain some facts before jumping in.

good point. thank you.

Confronting (A) to give her an untimatum should clear that question up.

We've never seen each other like that at all and I doubt very much if we will.

if you will...what?

badly worded boxing that is all.