Am not getting on very well with DP.

[PrincessFiorimonde]

He is lovely to me, but I am just not very nice to him.

We have been together almost 11 years, but lately I have just been pushing him away emotionally, and I'm not sure why. He gets a bit shouty about things sometimes (e.g. he shouts about things in the paper or on the radio, but he is always caring and considerate to me - believe me, I know, because XH was an emotionally abusive horror), but really he is very thoughtful and a real 'looker-after'. He does lots of nice practical things - e.g. he does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, all the household stuff like buying furniture, putting up shelves, etc.

I can't bear him to touch me either, though I used to find him incredibly sexy.

We are supposed to be going away on holiday next Monday for a fortnight. Tonight I broke down and told him that maybe he should just go away by himself.

I know I am horrible, and I know I should thank my lucky stars that he is so lovely. Why am I like this? I know I am just a complete cow, and I don't really know why I am posting this.

Could you be suffering from depression?

Relationships suffer first when things go wrong in our lives as we take it out on those closest to us.

Are other areas of your life affected?

MMMMM, you say he is lovely, etc, but SOMETHING, no matter how small you might think, has happened to turn you off him emotionally.

I was exactly the same with EX DH, but I knew, in the back of my mind, it was all down to a completely innocent remark from him, that basically killed our marriage, so think hard.

Could the relationship have run its course?

Sadly that does happen, and the feelings you describe are exactly how I felt in my previous relationship. My partner did nothing wrong, but the magic had gone. He had done nothing wrong, it really was "me not him", and I knew I had to end it as it was not going to get better.

That is one reason that could be why you feel as you do.

There are other reasons though. Is this a constant feeling, or is it at certain times of the month? I spent years without ever getting PMT then all of a sudden, in my mid 30's I seemed to develop it and am a grumpy cow for a few days each month..

Fabbychic, you are lovely with your concern, but I have thought about your message and I don't think I am suffering from depression. Other areas of my life? You might have a point there - apart from unresolved anger with my XH (never really worked that out), I am also finding it tough that I used to pay my own way but am now finding it hard (having been out of work for 6 months) to actually have someone pay for me. Lovely though my DP is (and he never moans about money), I do think I struggle with that. And I am also menopausal, and that might be affecting my thinking a lot.

AngryMomma and SqueakyToy, I think you might be right and that the relationship has indeed run its course. I am finding this hard to accept, but just maybe this is what has happened.