How do you move on as I can't?

[queencat]

hi some of you may know my background. My partner walked out on me and the kids last year in may. I've name changed several times since.

It's now almost a year since be has been gone, he is in another relationship, she has met turnouts our house is now on the Market.

But I still don't get better. I miss himsveryday, I cry every day I'm filled with so much resentment against this new girl. I don't love him one ounce less than I did the day he walked out.

I just want him back even though he has been vile to me on plenty of occasions I feel like I could forgive him anything I just want my life back. I can never see myself moving on and with someone else. I know I need too but don't know how.

I have been very close to suicide and have self harmed I just am not coping.

Please help me.

He has the children every other weekend I use the time to try and do things for myself and I visit people etc. Most of my friends are very happily married and I don't feel like I can impose myself on them. I'm the only one in my social circle who is by myself.

Hi queencat. So sorry to hear you are going through this. The pain can be unbearable. Get as much support as possible, and may I suggest not having any contact with him. I know it's not that easy with dc involved, but is it possible to arrange pick up and drop off in a way you don't have to see him? It's possible that spending time with him is keeping you from accepting the relationship is over, and far too many time xp's do this to keep you from moving on. Take care, you will feel better at some point.

Yes, queencat, it is worth getting a second opinion or even switching specialists so you can get free counselling. The diagnosis of whether or not you are high risk is quite subjective and can very between doctors - another doctor may feel you very much qualify.

How about maybe trying to widen your social circle? I understand being the only singleton in a group of marrieds can be difficult, especially when you're hurting. Maybe this is shit advice, but could you join some sort of club that meets at weekends? So you could do something you enjoy and meet more people? It sounds like you could really benefit from some female friends who have either been where you are or are at least in a position to offer you some support and encourage you to get out and have some fun. Where abouts are you? There might be fellow MNers right on your doorstep

I'm
In west Sussex so if there is anyone around I would be grateful.

loved your advice southof

queencat, a big hug, it does sound like you could do with some external help to move on from this sad time in your life.

Why don't you post in chat to find some mners in your area (or the local boards?)

Thanks spooktrain :-)

Queencat, don't know if you like gardens, seaside, historical houses.....your area has a few National Trust properties and volunteering is often a good way to meet new people and the work can be therapeutic. Esp if in beautiful countryside and beach. What do you think?

Thank you so much for all your advice. I've been having a massive panic attack this weekend as this is my first Easter just me and the kids. I know it's not a big deal but everyone is busy with their families. I know we are a family but it just doesn't feel complete which is something else I need to get my head around.

I'm taking the children away in a couple of weeks to Spain so any tips on how to cope would be greatly appreciated. X

Queencat I'd send you a private message if I could work out how...! Can you PM me?

Cribbage I've contacted you don't know if it works

You'll be great! Hope the Easter Eggs went well. Main question about Spain trip - got a pool and a DVD player? Both invaluable for entertaining kids.