We've had one problem after another with my inlaws ever since we got together but since we had our children it has got worse and worse and DH is really struggling to deal with it and it's making life so sad.
MIL travelled 100 miles for DD1's christening to stand outside and hurl abuse at us for not asking her permission or explaining to her properly why we were doing things our way. We said we'd had enough of her behaviour and wanted no more to do with her. FIL rang a couple of weeks later and said she'd asked him to ring and invite us to their house to sort things out so we went, turns out he'd told her we'd rung and asked to see them so we could apologise.
At every turn MIL has stamped on my role as DD's mother and DH has done nothing about it and for along time we argued about this a lot. Eventually I decided that I had to support DH and if he wanted to see his mother i should support that so i put up with her treatment of me and we went back to seeing her. Before we decided to have DD2 we talked long and hard about how we were going to deal with MIL as her behaviour throughout my first pregnancy was unbelievable. We decided to keep things to ourselves as long as possible so we could enjoy as much of the pregnancy as possible before she ruined it. Within days of telling her she was hammering my door down shouting through the letter box about how awful her pregnancies were and how grateful DH should be to be alive and how he owed her and should do this that and the other. A few days later she was banging on the door at nursery demanding to see DD1 as 'we never let her see her and the staff get more time with her than we do and we have rights'
We told her we wanted no contact from her until after the birth because due to other health concerns we nearly lost the baby with the stress of it all. MIL told us that she would quite happily see us lose the baby to get her way. She has posted letters through our door, walked past our house 15 times a day and keeps telling us other people in town are keeping an eye on us and reporting back and that our neighbours are keeping her informed!!
Since DD2 was born DH has found it hard not seeing them (he really does hope that one day they will treat him right but they never do) so he has arranged a few times to see them but they have taken the opportunity to winge shout and cry. We invited them to DD2's christening which they used as another opportunity to winge and cry, DD1 has had fewer tantrums since her sister was born that MIL. MIL also told DD1 that she couldn't go to a place she loves to go with her daddy because she had to make him take her to see them because she was making them sad not seeing them, however much i've tried to talk to DD1 about this she is still heart broken about this. BIL and SIL are as weird and centre of attention seeking as their parents and I can't work out how DH is as lovely as he is but then he has always been the one in the wrong allowing everyonelse to be right!!
Sorry this has got really long but I am desperate to know what I can do to help DH deal with this but also to protect my children from people who are so horrible. I love my DH and my children and i want him to see how lovely and fab he is without having to feel like such a failure because his parents say so.
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desperate for advice re inlaws.
9 replies
freddy05 · 21/04/2011 14:51
OP posts:
SugarPasteFrog ·
21/04/2011 15:08
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