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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Parentification (long post)

6 replies

HouseOfSleep · 21/04/2011 05:51

Hi there

I have only recently come across this term, but am fairly sure that this is what happened to my older brother when we were growing up (the 'emotional parentification' version). My parents separated when my brother and I were both quite young, and my father came to rely heavily on my brother for emotional support starting from when my brother was about 9, and continuing for several years. My B is, and has always been, very kind and understanding, which is probably why my dad "chose" him as his support person, even though he's not the oldest. My dad spent a lot of time talking to him, and although my memories of this period are very vague, I do remember him sitting on my brother's bed well into the night and pouring out his woes. My dad was very upset by the separation - he was the one who was left, when my mum got together with my stepfather. I think he (my dad) still blames my stepD exclusively for what happened, and has always been very angry with him, and has never seemed to really believe that the affair/my mum's remarriage was a sympton of a relationship that was foundering, not the cause. This is despite the events taking place over 2 decades ago.
Anyway, I remember me and my siblings needing to tread very carefully around my dad for a long time - several years - and in particular it was my B who comforted him and really took on the role of his support and confidant, rather than his son. We saw him (Dad) cry an awful lot. I don't really know the extent of what went on between my D and B, but I would guess that my B was sheltering me from a lot of it, so my own memories are probably just the tip of the iceberg. At the time I just felt sad for my dad because he was so sad, but looking back on it, he was the adult, and in some subconscious way he must have decided that he was going to put his needs ahead of my B's (a 9 year old boy's).
My brother is now in his 30s, and has recently had counselling to try and deal with the way all this has affected him - and is still affecting him. I think he is feeling a lot of anger. He cut off contact with my dad over a year ago. My dad, although not as raw-ly emotional any more, is still a needy person, again probably even more so with my B than with me, and I think my B is wanting to break those patterns before any contact can be resumed.

I would be really interested and grateful to hear from anyone else who has been in this situation, from any point of view. I'd like to know how to help my dad and brother have a reconciliation - but I realise that for my B, that might not be the best thing. I am convinced that my dad doesn't realise the extent of the consequences of what happened back then - although both my B and, more recently, I have tried to explain to him. He says that he is very very sorry about it, and I think he thinks that should mean everything is ok. He and my B did have a conversation about it a couple of years ago, but it seems as though that ended with my dad expressing his "desperate sorrow", then my B feeling bad and saying pretty much "never mind it's ok", and so now my dad thinks it has been dealt with. If it isn't clear from what I've written so far, we both think that my dad can be pretty manipulative sometimes, but I'm not sure the extent to which that is conscious on his part. He's an intelligent man though, so I find it hard to believe he doesn't know what he's doing in some way.

Maybe the best way would be for me to give my dad a book about parentification so he can have an idea of the consequences (if so does anyone know of any good books about it)? Or is that just a bit of a cop out/too cruel to my dad? I would like to be able to talk through what happened back then with him, but I just don't have very many memories from that time, so don't feel that I can do it effectively.

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far, and TIA for any help.

OP posts:
Lizzabadger · 21/04/2011 06:12

I guess in your shoes I would:
(a) make sure I had very firm boundaries in place in my relationship with my father and
(b) stay out of the relationship between my father and brother and not be trying to help reconcile them, offer books etc.

RudeEnglishLady · 21/04/2011 08:15

If it was me I would (like LizzaBadger) stay out of it. I think if you want to be a support to your brother thats great but you must, must, must not try to get them to reconcile. You have to treat your brothers feelings with total respect. So, if DB says "I hate Dad - he's a stupid b*" even if you wish he wouldn't say it, either nod or say something neutral like "i know it hurts".

He's in this mess because he's had his feelings and needs invalidated by your father for years, so let him pour it out and come to terms with his recent counselling and the years of pressure. Its your brothers right to feel exactly what he wants and this is how he is going to feel better in time. He has to heal before he can worry about anyone else's feelings.

I feel really sorry for your brother. Your Dad sounds kind of tragic but he'll take you all down if you let him.

HouseOfSleep · 21/04/2011 13:04

Thanks Lizza and Rude, I think you are both right and will definitely not be trying to get my brother to do anything at all - as you say Rude he has always been the one under pressure and he has always looked after everyone else, and I totally believe he should have as much space as he wants now and am pissed off with my dad too for not seeing that. I guess I am really just wondering what to say to my dad, as he is professing to be baffled by it all and not to understand why my brother is behaving in such a "cold" (his word) way. I have explained to him - from my own point of view, obviously I don't know the whole story - a couple of times but he just doesn't seem to get it. He keeps looking for other reasons for what is happening - I think at least partly because he is feeling guilty and doesn't want to face the real explanation head on. I just hope he is more honest with himself inside his own head at least. He is getting older and I want him to be happy too, but any change in the relationship with my brother will need to be based on total honesty and no demands, or my B will understandably want none of it. Tricky one, not sure how this will turn out but thanks again for your thoughts.

OP posts:
garlicbutter · 21/04/2011 17:51

The problem with having been inadequately parented by one's parents is that you CAN'T go back. Were your father to have a miraculous personality transplant, recognise what he did and become the dad you all wish you'd had ... it would not change the childhoods he gave you. It could not change the impact on the adults you've each become.

It looks to me as if you are also parenting your father by wishing to repair your father's relationship with his brother. Not only would it be unwise to try - but you may want to take a lead from DB in asking yourself why this feels like your problem?

Fwiw, I have allowed my mother to feel she's made good with me. She hasn't - it's impossible. But she's over 80 and I don't want to be a source of pain in her last years. I imagine I sound 'cold' towards her - if so, I'm delighted! I spent far too much of my life putting her first.

natwebb79 · 21/04/2011 18:21

This really interests me as, reading it back, it sounds rather similar to the relationship I had with my mum. The difference was that she and my dad divorced because she had an affair, and then went on to pursue a 15 year relationship with a married man. She was so self-absorbed and generally selfish at that stage of her life. I vividly remember her asking me when I was 11 years old "darling, what do you think of my relationship with Mark?" as if I was a 30 year old woman with the life experience to advise her on her bloody sham relationship!
As it happened, when I was about 22 she had one of her 'woe is me' moments and I just lost it with her. I told her exactly how selfish she'd been (citing a couple of concrete examples) and told her that I'm sick of it and won't put up with it any longer. I then apologised for my outburst and told her to forget about it. A week later I recieved a long hand-written letter from her thanking me for my rant, stating that she doesn't remember any of it happening but that it was obviously because she was so wrapped up in herself back then. She said that all she can do is draw a line under it and make it up to me in future. She has, we're now a 'real' mother and daughter in that I feel I can go to her for advice and she looks out for me.
I think all human beings have their limits, your brother was right to seek counselling (I did too and it really helped). I'm sure that in time he will do what he needs to.

garlicbutter · 21/04/2011 20:30

I envy you, natwebb :)

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