How do you feel sexy when you've had a baby?

[feelinfrumpy]

I look after myself so I feel good about the way I look (well as good as I ever will) but it's my head that's the problem. DS is 5 months and I have no sex drive. I just don't feel like a sexual human being any more which I'm sure is very common. My head is just occupied by baby and I can't switch that off. There's nothing really preventing us from having sex but it just feels like everything has changed.

Any advice?

Bumping for you as I'd like to know too. DS is 8 months and I haven't been remotely interested since he was born. Oddly I think giving birth has put me off, not DH: I can't feel sexy because the image of myself delivering DS gets in the way.

Are you BFing, by the way? I'm hoping that's part of my problem and when I finally get to stop things will get better.

Give yourself a break! 5 months is still quite early in the scheme of things. My DS is about the same age and though DH and I have had sex a few times in the last couple of months I'm not hugely into it and I definitely don't feel sexy. I think when you have a baby you experience your body in a whole new way, especially if you're breastfeeding. I think it'll probably take time for me to get used to this new feeling and to get back to my old high level of libido. In the meantime I'm making sure we have sex every couple of weeks at least to keep the practice up IYSWIM. I don't enjoy it as much as I used to but I'm confident that'll change with time.

Don't forget that your hormones are likely to still be all over the place and that plays a huge part in sex too.

Took me over a year. Just no interest at all. I was lucky in that DH understood and never even tried to initiate. I was knackered and "touched out" and he just quietly wanked a lot more out of my way, so he tells me now. Sex is better than ever these days. I think this is completely normal, from all I've heard.

I felt sexy quite soon after birth as I wore clothes I wanted to wear and made sure I had a life outside the home even from the start. I never got the baby is everything thing as I still wanted a life outside my children from the offset. Does your husband do lots of night feeds, give you lie ins, let you go out when you want etc?

I didnt breastfeed though and I suppose that made a difference as I had a lot of sleep and didnt feel as tired as we took everything in turns.