Why can't he just BE sympathetic (sorry, moaning here)

[Easy]

As you may know, my dh is working away Mon-Fri (goes off on a Sunday night), and my ds (age 6) is challenging me every which way ATM.

I try very hard not to grumble, dh doesn't want to be away, I know it's a necessary evil.

BUT last night ds kicked off just as I was putting him to bed, argued with me, and frankly I got pretty upset about it. I've felt stressed and not slept well this week, so I'm also a bit knackered.

Anyway, when dh rang at about 10:00 p.m. I had a bit of a grumble, felt sorry for myself, you know.
He started the whole bit about well he should resign then, it isn't easy for him either (no, staying in a good hotel, not fighting with a child, not dealing with all the household stuff including bills AND his motor insurance, watching what he wants on telly even if it starts before 8 o'clock etc etc)

Then of course how bad it makes him feel when I moan down the phone. ACTUALLY I wanted to talk about how I feel, just for once (why didn't I scream that down the phone like I wanted to?)

How do I get him to just make a few sympathetic noises. God, he could even send me flowers to make me feel better.

I don't moan all the time after all. This was the first time since he went back after our hols (4 weeks)

Or is it me being unreasonable?

moan to us on MN instead.

been there done that and got several T shirts.

Thanks iota.

just spoke to him at work. He hasn't even asked how I am this morning, just happily discussed the usual work type things.

I feel so unappreciated.

I think I'll go for a nap instead of working out his expenses.

Men just don't do empathy! They are logical creatures and if faced with a problem will offer a solution. Women on the other hand when faced with a problem will accept the problem and get on with life despite it as long as they have some sympathy! Men just aren't emotional beings in the same way we are - that's why we have female friends to to moan with over a cup of tea, and men to put up shelves!

easy I think we are married to the same man!!!

Easy - I know EXACTLY what you mean. Dh doesn't work away fortunately but has to be at work for 7.15am and doesn't finish until 6pm so not home until 7ish - he also has to go out and entertain clients a couple of nights a week (oh, poor love, having to go to Nobu AND drink champagne) - anyway, when I am having a hard time with ds (aged 4) and just want to VENT, all I get is, "But that's your job, if you can't cope, go back to work" I love dh dearly but grrrrrrrr... So yes, you have my sympathies.

read "men are from MArs women are from Venus"
It will explain all of this - honestly
Men always want to fix things and offer practical solutions to your problems. They feel this is their role, and all we want is empathy not prcaticality. We don't understand thenm and they don't understand us...
He is trying to help but feels inadequate about I reckon.

It certainly rings true on here too, some of the male posters will offer all sorts of advice on how to fix a poster's problems when all of us female ones will offer sympathy first then try some suggestions.
It always makes me smile to see the differnet approaches, but that book made me realise this. It is a bit rubbishy, but i took that bit of information from it and it has really helped me in my relationship with dh
sorry if i am garbled, just in a hurry today
Sorry you feel like this BTW -

x paots titchy