Painful sex

[Venacava]

Namechanger here.

I'm really worried. I've been with my DP for 18 months now and at the start we had a really good sex life. Recently though it's become unbearably painful to have sex and the pain starts from the moment he starts trying to enter me (sorry TMI). The worst thing is because it starts hurting, I tense up and then it makes it even worse.

It's an almost burning sensation and we havn't been able to sleep together in months now. I'm scared that there's something seriously wrong.

Does anyone have an idea of what it could be due to?

Have you started or changed your brand of contraception pill. These sometimes can cause problems like dryness which would cause dragging on the sensitive skin and make sex painful. However if you are experiencing bleeding from painful sex make sure to see a Doctor straight away.

Have you been to the doctor about it?

You do need to see a doctor

Hi
I wanted to say that it sounds similar to something I experience - I was diagnosed with something called vulvodynia. It's a burning sensation that happens at the beginning of sex, (on the outside while being entered) but once 'in' the pain gradually eases.

Is this what you are experiencing? My intention is not to scare you at all, but I encourage you to see someone as there is help available if this is what it is. If it is this, I believe your body thinks it is fighting an infection when it isn't, and it's an inflamation of the area.

Using lots of lubricant helps, and get him to bring you to orgasm first before you have sex - I found this helps alot because you are relaxed. Talk to your DP about it openly too - my DH is wonderfuly supportive. I also tried some local anasthetic which I was prescribed, and told to wash with an emollient cream, stay out of baths, using harsh soaps, detergents etc.

Nobody seemed to know why it started with me - just one of those things. They say it can spontaneously get better too.

I hope this hasn't upset you - just wanted to share my experience with something similar. I encourage you to get checked out - I found the gum clinic was much better than the GP as they had someone there that specialised in these sorts of things.

I really hope things get better for you soon. x

P.S. sorry for the long post.

Hi NewMummy ,

Very interesting post. Was it Emla 5% you used? The one you normally use with a dressing for an injection site?

Hi I had a problem like this for 2 years... burning feeling with sex.
I kept going back to the dr who said it was dryness caused by the menopause and she prescribed lubes etc. But I knew the pain was not right and I kept going back. Eventually I saw a gynae at the local hospital who took swabs and eventually did a biopsy under locals. The results came back negative and she said it must be vulvadynia and there was nothing she could do. About 2 months later I had a urine test for something completely unrelated at a medical and they said I had a urine infection. After 2 sets of antibiotics the infection cleared up and the amazingly the pain disappeared at the same time. No one in the 2 years had ever given me a urine test because it was not an obvious connection to make. Moral is .. go to your gp and keep going back and insist they do every test they can and keep going back until they treat you properly. There is stuff they can do for vulvadynia too.

Friend of mine had vulvadynia and it responded well to a steroid injection.

Not sure about the idea of manual orgasm first. A lot women become dry and tighten after a full orgasm so this would make things worse.

Even simple, mild thrush can be a cause for pain on entering.

Doctors visit is in order...

am thinking simple thrush as a starting point

but see your GP

Eurostar - orgasm first works for me, so really it's up to the individual and what works. Steroid injection is interesting though - despite all the investigations I've had, never heard of this one - if you have any more info on this would really appreciate it.

nicole 333 - not sure what the name is as something generic.

Have a look at this link: vulvalpainsociety.org/index.php?page=vulvodynia

start with swabs at your gp, thrush and bacterial vaginosis can sometimes be the easiest thing to rule out and can both cause a burning sensation, easily treatable and neither are sti's if your worried. As others have said don't ignore it see your gp.

NewMummy - if you google vulvodynia and steroid treatment you will find a lot of articles.

There's a good general article here
www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52326

Thanks for all the advice. Am now pathetically scared at the thought of going to a gp about it but know it has to be done in order for things to get better. Hopefully it's something simple. Do you think it would be worth popping a canestan tablet to see if that helps?

Go and see the GP! It will probably be something really simple like thrush or bacterial vaginosis but it's still worth getting checked out!

Are you constipated at all? Sorry if TMI but I had terribly painful sex for abotu 6 months and it was because of that and a little pile!

No harm trying an over the counter thrush treatement - at least you can tell the GP you've ruled that out if it doesn't work.

Btw - thrush can become endemic if it's not treated quickly as soon as it starts, and it can affect the bowel, too. It then doesn't respond to otc and other topical treatments like Canestan. It needs treatment from a gp - can't remember what it's called, is dearer than Canestan, but it works. I had thrush almost permanently until I had the oral treatment - it then went.

Good luck.

Just a completely different tack, it might not be a medical issue at all, is he getting you wet enough and going at a pace you can cope with? I know if I'm tense at all I find sex really uncomfortable, to the point of painful, and we have to either stop and try something else, or take it very very slowly until I get into it properly. This works as a solution with current DP, with my XP, he'd just carry on or we'd use lube which would rub in and then it would be sore again. I wouldn't even be aware that I was tense so it wasn't an obvious thing - but then I think subconsciously because I started to associate sex with pain I'd tense up even more and it would get to the point where we couldn't even physically do it. This has happened with every one of my sexual partners except for DP, I think it's a combination of the fact I'm extremely sensitive to stress or tension or any kind of pressure, even accidental pressure or self-imposed pressure, during sex, and then with previous partners not feeling that it was okay to say "Actually can we stop?" once things had started, whereas he made it absolutely expressly clear that I could say that whenever and he wouldn't be angry or take it personally. (Other guys weren't all bad - they probably just assumed it didn't need to be said)

I might be completely wrong but I thought I'd share my experience anyway, just in case. I do know the awful, horrible feeling of "Everyone else can have sex just fine, and I'm some kind of freak" :(